Long Live The King!
His Majesty King Bhumibol celebrated his monumental birthday on December 5 when His Majesty became 79 years old. In many ways His Majesty King Bhumibol (King Rama 9 of the Chakri Dynasty) is revered as a god by devout Thai Buddhists. Nobody in their right mind would ever doubt or question His Majesty King Bhumibol’s relentless quest of giving heart and soul to his country. Every road and soi was lined with people paying their respects to a truly legendary King of Thailand. It was a remarkable sight. A sea of saffron swept across the city of angels, as many people wore their Royal Coronation polo shirts. May His Majesty reign for many years to come. Long live the King!
Cheers For The Beers
Most good pubs and bars across Thailand are selling that especially smooth brew called Kilkenny. Imported kegs ensure that it is the authentic brew with the correct gas levels, which enhance that creamy head. The only thing I find with Kilkenny is that it is so smooth boozers tend to drink it too fast. Sip rather than swill is my advice and allow the beer to settle first before you start to drink it.
One establishment that serves a great pint of Kilkenny is Bully’s Pub. Bully’s Pub is located just a bit further down from the petrol station at the entrance to Soi Nana. It is a spacious open plan pub that is simply but tastefully furbished. They serve good pub grub and you can swill your buffalo wings down with a draught pint of Kilkenny. Do not worry, this is not some sick water buffalo dish, but an excellent American dish comprising of chicken wings in a spicy sauce.
One other fine establishment that sells a cool, smooth pint of Killkenny is The Bull’s Head Pub. The Bull’s Head is located on Soi 33/1 which is opposite Emporium shopping centre. Billy Boy and his dolly birds’ will be happy to serve you with a smile. A pint of Killkenny in The Bull’s Head will cost you 230 Baht. Just off for a pint of Kilkenny…Cheers!
There was an unfortunate incident in Nana Plaza last Thursday evening, when a small group of drunken farangs caused a problem in Fantasia (floor 2 Nana Plaza). The main culprit who was wearing a soccer shirt (say no more), took a swing for a Thai guy. Well, as you know this is so idiotic when four farangs can be surrounded by twenty Thai men in a matter of seconds. What was remarkable was the tolerance shown by the Thais, as they restrained from knocking them into next week.
The two troublemakers were eventually ushered away by their friends, but not until a scuffle broke out amongst themselves. These morons even started squabbling between themselves – the mind boggles! Bemused onlookers almost brought Nana Plaza to a standstill as these idiots made a total nuisance of themselves. Call me old fashioned but I came to Thailand to have fun. What is it with these morons? To quote a famous Forrest Gumpism, “Stupid is as stupid does!”
In yet another unfortunate incident in Nana Entertainment Plaza the acclaimed author Dean Barrett was cruelly turned down by one of the Thai twins from Angelwitch. Dean was devastated. For Dean Barrett’s fan club like “Dana in America” there is a bright shinning light through this dark, void abyss. Dean is attending special emotional counseling, but he will return to the hunting grounds of Nana Plaza. You could console poor ole Dean by visiting his website and threatening to buy one of his books. Please click on the banner below…
A friend heard a whisper from a bargirl in Nana Plaza that Pretty Lady might be back in action later this month. At this point this is only a rumor, but Dave The Rave will be investigating further. I will let you know if I hear anything more concrete. It would be beneficial as a whole for Nana Plaza if Pretty Lady did open again.
This was a great little bar and Pretty Lady has always had its own following. I have fond memories of my days in Pretty Lady in the 1990’s, when it was one of the most popular bars in Bangkok. I certainly hope as a dedicated Hornythologist (the study of dolly birds), that the Pretty Lady does return for the future of Hornythology in Nana Plaza.
Angelwitch Show Bar situated on floor 2 in Nana Plaza has recently introduced even more shows to their broad repertoire. I coined a phrase that I use to describe Angelwitch. I refer to what most people think is the finest Show Bar in Thailand as Bangkok Broadway. I think that it is a matter of personal preference when people refer to what they believe is the best go-go bar. However, in terms of the most professional choreographed shows in Thailand, Bangkok Broadway is second to none. Like any go-go bar it is by no means perfect but when referring specifically to shows, Bangkok Broadway is in a league of its own. As one devoted fan of Angelwitch said to me, “If Angelwitch is not the best, then why have so many go-go bars tried to copy their shows?”
There are a few shows that have been created from original ideas from none other than Dave The Rave himself. For example, I thought that “These boots are made for walking” by Nancy Sinatra, would make an excellent theme song with the concept of showgirls in boots. After discussing the idea with owners Matt and Pim, the show choreographers applied the theme and a new show is born. Perhaps you may decide to swing by and check out the new shows, and also see the Thai twins in action. Unless of course looking at attractive young showgirls in sexy outfits is not your thing. As author Dean Barrett always says, “Attractive young girls in sexy outfits having fun is a winning formula”.
Silver Dragon (floor 2 Nana Plaza) is the first go-go bar as you get to the top of the escalator, or as the locals say electric stairs. They are currently running a Silver Special, where from 6:30pm until 9:30pm it is “buy one and get one free.” This does not apply to Corona, Bacardi Breezer, or Lady Drinks but this still remains one of the best deals around. Stickman and fellow school teachers’ please take note of this farang friendly super special. However, buy one get one free, does not apply to the dolly birds!
While I was working on the computer I was listening to my Best of the 80’s music CD and the pop song “Turning Japanese” came on. Do you remember that song? It reminded me that we seem to be suffering an *Asian Invasion* in what were originally very much farang nightlife areas. Certain venues in Bangkok are definitely turning Japanese. Here is an example of what I mean…
My friend Khun Soon Bai wanted to take a stroll outside of his normal hunting grounds of Soi Cowboy and Soi Nana. And so, Mr. Too Tall decided to stop off in Thermae coffee shop. This was one of my old haunts back when it was open until 6:00am – those were the good old days! Upon entering Thermae, Khun Soon Bai is shocked that it is Singapore in 1941 all over again. In other words totally overrun with Japanese. Alas, yet another venue that has turned into a “Jap Trap!”
She said her name was…
The old beer bargirl was long past her sell-by date, but Khun Leigh and I thought that we would be polite and engage her in brief conversation. She said her name was Well, but we simply refer to her as Well-worn!
A sexy little go-go girl approached me just the other night. She said her name was Porn…and her surname is Queen!
Same Same But Different
A friend quoted this comment to me that originated from a sober bargirl. “This is my twin sister, same Mamma but different Pappa.”
Long Gun Or Short Gun?
Approaching most go-go bars you are often accosted by various door staff. Down in Cowboy Country I was visiting Long Gun with a friend one evening as an effervescent young dolly bird greeted us with a sweet smile. My naÃ¯ve friend said, “Long Gun” and the street smart bargirl replied, “Long gun or short gun, you can still shoot your gun.”
I first visited Pattaya in the 1980’s and no place in the whole country has seen such immense growth. Pleasure Playground is the term that I use for Pattaya and I think it sums up in two words what the essence of Pattaya truly is. Along the Soi 6 strip it is a kind of “Sinset Boulevard” with the short-time bars doing a roaring trade. Some of the bargirls in these bars really are Martini girls. Remember the TV advert? Any time, any place, any where! In fact some of the Soi 6 bargirls have seen more action than a Vietnam veteran.
And speaking of Martini, Coyotees Go Go Bar (Soi Marina Plaza) has Martini glass-shaped Jacuzzis. When you get a couple of love birds together in here they make very interesting bird baths indeed. Top marks for creativity to the guys who run Coyotees. It is true that Coyotees have established themselves in the glamour department with some very attractive Showgirls, making it well worthy of a visit.
A Real Virgin
Ricky told me a classic true tale from Pattaya that I just had to share with you all. Ricky managed to take on a real virgin in a go go bar that he was previously working in. The more experienced bargirls were educating her about the facts of life. The virgin was told to be prepared for foreigners with large sex tools. One experienced bargirl pointed out that the black ones are really huge. Just then the virgin bargirl asked, “How do I know if he has a black one?”
Ricky swears this is a true tale and that as lovely as the young dolly bird is she is as thick as a whale sandwich. Bless her little G-string!
Bargirl’s Reality Check
My friend Special K recently decided to visit Pattaya, he normally resides in Bangkok, but I guess he just felt like visiting pleasure playground. Hey guys, with all of those lovely young dolly birds that Dana in America and others like so much, I find it impossible to question his decision. It was not long before Special K spotted a young dolly bird. He propositioned her with the oh so familiar, “How much for long time?” Some of you guys are killing me! You could build up to it or smooth talk the poor girl.
Anyway I digress – the bargirl replies, “Three thousand baht because the girls in Bangkok charge that.” My friend spontaneously answered, “Yes, but we are in Pattaya.” And so, after a short pause the bargirl said, “OK, two thousand baht then.” Following the brief *interview* the passionate, tropical night went something like this:-
She did offer her honour,
He did honour her offer,
And all night long…
He was on ‘er and off ‘er!
Please send your feedback to – [email protected]
My sincere thanks this week go out to Special K, Snakedude, Mad Mike, Khun Soon Bai, and last but by no means least the enigmatic Stickman. Until we meet again for the next edition of Night Fever if you cannot be good be careful. Cheers!