Holiday season is barreling down on Thailand’s redlight districts and bar are revving up for Christmas and New Year’s tourists with new shows, party poppers and sky-high barfines.
This is the Redlight Report for Dec. 9 and here’s what’s happening:
New Shows at Spanky’s
“I was speaking to a long-time customer the other day and he said to me, ‘I’ve seen some of these shows for years,’” the boss at Spanky’s Nana Plaza said last week. “And I thought, ‘you know, he’s right!’”
And with that, the 18-year owner of Nana Plaza’s premier showbar launched into three solid days of work designing new shows. By the end of the weekend, he had a list of 25 new skits, with nods to pop culture, such as Star Wars and Harry Potter, and others amping up the sexiness with glamorous, slinky dresses.
Along with the news comes new music, although designing a new playlist to fit Spanky’s unique mix of oldies, novelty tunes, club faves and new music was a bit harder. After a day of scouring music services, and even consulting with AI, the bossman was able to come up with a grand total of …. 12 songs he liked. The work continues.
Shows start every fifteen minutes at Spanky’s.
Jingle Bell Ringers
Staying at Spanky’s, Redlight Report was in the house at opening on Thursday when, five minutes after dancers hit the floor, the bell was rung for the first (of many) times. Five minutes. The bell ringer? A big-spending regular who returns to Thailand every high season and makes a beeline for Spanky’s, Nana Plaza’s party bar.
The Party Is Popping at Red Dragon
It’s still a couple weeks until Christmas, but the party poppers are already out at Red Dragon and Mandarin. On Friday it looked like it had snowed gold confetti. Poppers – and the ridiculous cans of Silly String – are the norm at Crazy House during the holidays, but Red Dragon beat even them to the holiday punch.
Holiday Barfines Are Coming: Bring Your Wallet
Redlight Report got to sit in last week on not one, but two, monthly staff meetings, at go-go bars in both Nana Plaza and Suzie Wong. Staff meetings are incredibly redundant, with mamasans and owners droning on every month on the same topics: Don’t drink too much. Don’t be late. Don’t fight with other girls, etc. But this month’s meeting had a new wrinkle: Christmas and New Year’s barfines.
Every bar, it seems jacks up barfines on Dec. 24-25 and Dec. 31-Jan. 1 to prevent their ladies from leaving early and punters walking into the bar by midnight to find an empty stage. How much prices get jacked up varies, however.
Redlight Report can’t name the bars, as staff meetings are confidential, but here’s what you can expect if you want to secure a date for Christmas or New Year’s:
- Dec. 24-25: 1,500-2,000 baht
- Dec. 31-Jan. 1: 2,000-3,000 baht
If you think that’s high, the bars really put the screws to the girls themselves if they don’t show up for work. At one Nana Plaza go-go, if a lady doesn’t show up for work on New Year’s Eve she’ll be docked 5,000 baht.
Eager for Beavers Indians
In Nana Plaza, Indians hit the upper floors early and hard. Only the ground-floor bars are open before 7:30 p.m., but that doesn’t stop them from barging into go-gos 30-45 minutes before that.
One Indian walked into a Nana bar where a staff training was underway, along with a Digital a-Go-Go photo shoot. There was no music, no girls on stage, no customers in the seats, but it didn’t register with this eager-for-beaver Indian that the bar wasn’t open yet. He strolled up to the bar and tried to order a beer, only to be shown the door.
He wasn’t alone, Redlight Report saw at least five more pairs of Indians tried the same thing within the next 20 minutes.
Indians Like ‘Em Big, Right?
Legendary (and now retired) Pattaya and Bangkok bar owner Big Andy once told Redlight Report that every bar needs one fat girl. That was 17 years ago, so now go-go bars, unfortunately, how have a lot more than one fatty. But Bad Beach on Soi Cowboy may have the modern record.
One Bad Beach is so large, apparently there’s no bikini to fit her. So she dispenses with even trying to squeeze into one. It would be impolite to ask her directly what she tips the scales at, but a mamasan said she weighed in last week at 90 kg. But waitresses scoffed at that, saying she is a round 100 kg.
While you’d think that’s the last thing tourists would want to see dancing in a go-go bar, the word is she’s an earner and gets lots of drinks… mostly from Indians.
Fat? No Problem. Old? You’re Fired!
While there may be no weight limit at Bad Beach and sister bar Crazy House, there is apparently an age limit. Checking in on Baccara last week, Redlight Report ran into a dancer who, three days earlier, was working at Crazy House.
Asked my she changed bars, the 38-year-old said she was fired for being too old.
That didn’t ring quite right for Redlight Report, as we know of at least two other 38-year-old matrons at Crazy House, so something else must have been at play.
When it was suggested the ex-Crazy Woman could go work at Long Gun, her face contorted and she shouted, “no, they’re so old!” She got a good chuckle, however, when we pointed out that she’d be younger than most the woman there and would get more drinks.
There is progression to this go-go career thing: You may start at Red Dragon or Billboard, but the road will eventually take you to Long Gun and then Moonshine Joint.
Redlight Report’s Name That Tune
Speaking of Moonshine Joint, the place can get pretty devoid of customers late. And when it does, the farang-music videos get muted and the Thai music comes on. Twice in a couple weeks, Thai luk thong and mor lam was on blast. It’s also worth noting that the Thai tunes are played on crappy speakers on the bar while the farang music is piped through Moonshine’s more-than-decent house sound system.
If Korean music is more your thing, then hop over the road to Shark Club, which, since its renovation and reopening, has added a large and frequent selection of K-Pop. Redlight Report is not a fan, so it’s a good thing that Shark Bangkok is not pumping out as much K-Pop as Shark Pattaya, where you may get 20-25 minutes of Korean-language tunes nonstop.
