Thailand Night Fever

LOW SEASON HIGH TREASON

The frugal folks among us sometimes misinterpret the low season with regards to Thailand’s nightlife scene.  They automatically think that the low season is time to come out of social hibernation.  With a sigh of relief they will say, “At long last the tourist season is over.”  Meanwhile, us party animals enjoy Thailand’s vast nightlife scene all year round.  We are so pleased to merrily party 12 months of the year.  But alas, the frustratingly frugal folk think that low season becomes their territory.  This can and often does backfire on them.  Are you sitting comfortably?  Then let’s begin…

Thinking that they have won the bargirl lottery, they venture into a bar that has a scattering of bargirls, but zero customers.  Once again, this goes back to the vicious circle — no customers leads to no bargirls, etc.  Unfortunately, what dear old Cheap Charlie often overlooks, is that some bars are almost down and out for the count.  As a result, the bargirls in these dead dives start to become desperate.  This desperation can lead to very aggressive behaviour and unscrupulous tactics.  These tactics are to extract as much cash as possible (by whatever means) from the *victim* customer.  Furthermore, the bar is struggling so much that they cannot afford professional management.  Therefore, the inmates are running the institution.   

With the constant pressure of rent and bills to pay, some bargirls need to make some fast cash.  This reminds us that Thailand is definitely not a welfare state.  As the Thais say, “Mie tham gnarn mie kin kao” (no work no eat).  For some guys the low season is not the best time of year.  Just look at the financial pressure that a lot of bargirls are suffering.  The most popular bars are fine, because they can comfortably survive a bad low season.  But, the top level bars are in the minority this year.  For example, the bars in Pattaya are opening and closing faster than a travelling salesman’s suitcase!

While the generosity retentive guys think they have the advantage, they might just get a taste of their own medicine.  Sitting all alone Cheap Charlie thinks, “Why am I not surrounded by sexy bargirls?”  The inborn intuition of every bargirl has already completed its assessment.  It’s going to be a long and lonely night for Cheap Charlie!   

GLOBAL WARMING OR ECONOMIC FREEZING?   

This year the global economic situation has hit lots of people hard for a number of reasons.  In particular, the US dollar has not regained much ground against a strong Thai baht.  Whereas, the British pound and the Euro have either gained, or retained substantial ground against the Thai baht.  In addition, the rapid rate of global inflation is becoming very scary.  Initially we had a food shortage and then an oil crisis, so what’s next?  Thankfully, Thailand does not have a dolly bird shortage!

DAVE THE RAVE’S AAA FACTOR

When people talk about bargirls and the environment involved, the term “supply and demand” springs to mind.  This July sees a very significant swing in favour of the boy-to-girl ratio.  Calm down lads!  There are plenty of dolly birds to go around.   

Therefore, my take on “supply and demand” becomes, “I demand that you supply me!”  In true Go-Go Guru style, “Your wish is my command.”  Visit Thailand, where your dreams can come true.  This is why Thailand remains a popular choice for many guys. 

Dave The Rave’s AAA Factor stands for “Abundance of Affordable and Available girls.”  Don’t forget those key words — Abundance, Affordable, and last but by no means least Available.  The killjoys and Jaded Johns should realise that Farangland is light years away from the AAA Factor.  I dread to think about returning to Farangland… Western women the size of elephants and unhappiness the size of a mountain.  “Lest we ever have to suffer those depths of depravity.”  Long live the AAA Factor!

SUPPLY AND DEMAND SUMMARY

My take on “supply and demand” becomes, “I demand that you supply me!”  In true Go-Go Guru style, “Your wish is my command.”  I disagree that “The West knows best and East knows least.”  Don’t suffer in silence!  Instead, you should visit Thailand, where your wildest fantasies can become a reality. 
  
NOT ONLY AEROPLANES ARE GOING SKY HIGH 

The price of crude oil has hit a record high.  This naturally leads some people to think about their financial situation.  The sudden hike in airfare prices means that a number of people will have to postpone their trips to Thailand.  In some cases, airlines have suspended long haul flights in order to assess fuel surcharges.  Other airlines have taken immediate action by increasing their ticket prices.  In some cases, what was a $1,000 US dollar flight could now cost as much as $1,800 US dollars.  A concerned American informed me of this $800 US dollar hike.  I dare say that some folks need to stay focused.  While some people worry that street noodles have gone up 10 baht, the bigger issue is the $800 US dollars on your airfare.  Keep it real guys! 

It is quite apparent that not only aeroplanes are going sky high.  You might be thinking, “How can I visit Thailand amid this economic crisis?”  My suggestion is to utilise some of those air miles that you have accumulated.  Then it will be a case of, “Don’t worry about money and enjoy the honey!”

VALUE FOR MONEY IS MOST IMPORTANT

The other night in Angelwitch Go-Go Bar, I was enjoying the company of my mate Union Hill.  I asked Union Hill what his thoughts were about value for money.  To be more specific, we targeted the subject of the price of a beer in the bars in Bangkok.

When asked about the current beer prices in Bangkok bars Union Hill said, “The difference between 20 odd baht means we are talking about loose change.”  I think Union Hill has a good point.  It would be different if we were talking about 200 or 300 baht increases.  In this case, we are chopping a digit off the end.  If we were talking in hundreds,  I could understand the argument.  In many parts of Farangland, the cost of living is extortionate.  But, some farangs only seem to complain about the prices in Thailand.  I can never understand that, can you?  It’s as though Thailand owes them a living.  Personally, I think every expat resident should go to Farangland and have a reality check.  Dear old Farangland – the incessant extortion, political correctness on steroids, the sheer depression, the rat race, the disillusionment of a fake dream, etc.  And, these are just some of the good points!  (That last comment was a joke folks!).  If these farangs have any sense, they will be begging to come back to Thailand.  

Some bars offer cheap drinks and yet, they remain as dead as an extinct thing.  Have you noticed this?  The reason is not the price of the drinks, but the fact that the bar itself has nothing to offer.  The important thing isn’t the price, but whether it is good value for money or not.  As my mate Union Hill said, “Why sit in a bar with a cheap beer if it is a complete dive.” 

My biggest complaint about the Cheap Charlie Clan is that they expect champagne at house wine prices.  Not surprisingly, bar bosses will not do this and why should they.  I have heard that some resident farangs think that the bars should do something “special” for them.  I believe that every customer is special, until that is, they prove otherwise.

I can tell you from personal experience that some farangs get irate about price increases.  And yet, they forget how expensive their country is and how mind numbingly boring it is too.  A good friend of mine said, “You should not feel that you have to appease these people Dave.”  (The word “people” replaced a much less polite word).  He went on to say, “They must have a personality disorder or something.”  He then added, “OK, enough about the Cheap Charlies, it is making me depressed just thinking about them.”  At that point, we both saw the funny side and burst out laughing.  Party on people!

BIG MANGO BAR — GRAND OPENING PARTY

The Big Mango Bar in Soi Nana will host its Grand Opening Party this Friday, July 4th.  The Big Mango very generously offers Happy Hour prices ALL NIGHT LONG.  There will be FREE food from 6:00pm and FREE sporadic shots throughout the night.  The Cheap Charlies will be frothing at the mouth like rabid creatures!