Go-Go Guru Glossary


Hi Guys, this is an alphabetical listing of Dave The Rave’s original ‘Thaiminology.’ The Go-Go Guru Glossary consists of Dave The Rave’s unique twist on how we term things in Thailand’s business of pleasure. Enjoy!

‘AAA’ FACTOR — Adorable, Available, Affordable — Thai girls compared to their foreign counterparts.

ANALYSIS PARALYSIS — An exceptional level of the ‘Q’ Factor disables our ability to select a Thai bar girl. Like a bad days shopping, you end up looking at everything and buying nothing. Can sometimes be used, when you cannot decide what to order from a top class restaurant menu.

‘AT’ AMUSING THAILAND – I use this expression because Thailand never ceases to amuse me. It’s a spin on the Tourist Authority of Thailand’s promotional slogan, “Visit Amazing Thailand.” I changed ‘AT’ to Amusing Thailand because I believe that we all shouldn’t take life too seriously. A laugh a day keeps the Doctor away!

BANGKOK BROADWAY — Dave’s analogy for Angelwitch Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza. Pioneers of the most creative and professionally choreographed shows in Thailand.  Branches in Bangkok (Nana Plaza) and Pattaya (Soi 15 Walking Street).

BOOBY TRAP — Warning about go-go bars that have Thai bar girls with enormous boobs. Careful you don’t fall into a big booby trap!

BOOZE CRUISE — A refreshing twist on a pub-crawl.

CARNAL CARNIVAL — Description of Thailand’s adult entertainment areas.

CASH ‘N’ CARRY — Paying the bar fine, or buy out for a Thai bar girl. I find the term ‘bar fine’ quite misleading. You could say, “I have to pay a bar fine, but I haven’t done anything wrong.” When a customer asks, “Bar fine?” The bar boss might reply, “Yes, fine thanks for asking.”

DAVE THE RAVE – Go-Go Guru and Intrepid Investigator. I was nicknamed ‘Dave The Rave’ because I was always raving on about Thailand and Thai dolly birds. Although I worked in nightclubs in the UK for 15 years, this is NOT why I was nicknamed Dave The Rave. Now you know!

DOLLY BIRDS — Dave’s Thaiminology for attractive Thai girls.

‘FF’ FACTOR — Farang Friendly

FOURS FACTOR — This is an original Dave The Rave quote about Japanese clients of Thai go-go girls. The penis, performance and payment consist of – Four inches, Four minutes, Four grand.

HORNYTHOLOGY — The study and handling of dolly birds.

LITTLE LAS VEGAS — Dave’s Thaiminology for Soi Cowboy.

‘3-M’ MOBILE MONEY MACHINE — A ‘3-M’ is a human cash dispenser or a farang with more money than sense.

NEON JUNGLE — Dave The Rave Thaiminology for Thailand’s red light districts, which include Patpong, Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza and Walking Street in Pattaya.

PLEASURE PLAYGROUND — Dave’s Thaiminology for Pattaya.

‘Q’ FACTOR — A Quantity of Quality – what every good go-go bar should endeavour to have.

‘R’ FACTOR — What every go-go bar should always do — Recruit and Retain go-go dancers.

SEXERCISE — How Thai bar girls keep you in shape.

SEXPAT — Farang resident who practices Hornythology.

SKYTRAIN SHUFFLE In both scenarios, Thai girls are clutching metal poles. The only difference between some go-go stages and the Skytrain is that there’s more movement on a Skytrain! For very BIG and lazy go-go dancers the term ‘buffalo shuffle’ is used.

SOAP-A-DOPE — Soapy massage belly boxing tactics.

TESTOSTER-ZONE — Red light districts and adult entertainment venues in Thailand.

THAI TAKEAWAY — When a guy pays the bar fine, or buy out and takes a dolly bird home. A typical expression is, “I fancy a Thai takeaway tonight.”

THAIMINOLOGY — Dave The Rave’s twist on terminology, which is incorporated into the Go-Go Guru Glossary.

TREASURE-FOR-PLEASURE – Dave’s original twist on pay-for-play. Can also be used as, “No treasure, no pleasure” to replace the old expression, “No money no honey.”