Christmas Day Thailand Night Fever

As we come to the end of 2007, I have decided to select various pieces from the Dave The Rave Bangkok Blog over the past year…

THE ORIGINS AND REASONS BEHIND “THAILAND NIGHT FEVER.”
                                
November 2006 – Hold tight riders, here we go!  This is the very first edition of “Thailand Night Fever” the Thailand nightlife newsletter from yours truly Dave the Rave – the Go-Go Guru.  Not only will you get my reviews and reports, rants and raves, but all kinds of related topics and eventually photos too.  Yes, you heard me right it will include photos of Thailand’s nightlife, and that means Thai babes too.  From my notes, quotes and anecdotes, comes this review column and I will endeavour to report objectively and with a true sense of accuracy.  My goal is just two words — informative and entertaining.

How did “Thailand Night Fever” come about?  The idea for this Thailand nightlife online newsletter emerged when I realized not only how fascinated people were with the Thai nightlife in general, but also everything that goes on behind the scenes too.  Many people have inundated me with all kinds of questions over the years, hoping to gain a greater insight into this extraordinary world.
My friend John kindly offered to build this website and so after some deliberation I decided to go ahead with the venture.  I found myself so engrossed in my life here in the Land Of Sanuk (Land Of Fun), that I began my own observational study into the surreal world of Thailand’s nightlife.  The multitudes of interesting people I have met and the many engaging conversations that I have experienced have enabled me to closely examine this truly fascinating realm.  The exceptional incidents, anecdotes and encounters became too compelling for me not to record them and share them with you all.  True life, especially in the aptly named “Amazing Thailand” is often far stranger than fiction.  More extraordinary and incredible stories have emerged from these real life experiences than sometimes from the imaginations of the best fiction writers.  What? You are not convinced.  Here then begin my tales of Thailand…

BANGKOK — CITY OF ANGELS

To get to the heart of the matter, where better to start than the capital.  Krungthep (City Of Angels) is the official name for the Thai capital, but the name Bangkok (initially for international use) has remained.  Call me old fashioned, but I refer to Thailand’s capital as the City Of Angels, because I think Krungthep is a far more eloquent name than Bangkok (Village Of The Wild Plum).  Mind you, in saying that the label “Bang-kok” speaks for itself with all these gorgeous girls around. 

The full name still commands a place in the Guinness Book Of Records, as the longest place name in the world.  OK, like any big city, Bangkok is not always angelic, but it does have an alluring charm all of its own.  The City Of Angels has been my home for the best part of a decade now and I think it has changed for the better in some ways.  It is cleaner than it was before, the BTS sky train and underground systems are enormous improvements to public transportation, not to mention very comfortable and convenient modes of travel.  I cannot help but admire how immaculate the BTS stations and trains are, they certainly put London’s transport systems to shame.  A lot has happened in Bangkok over the last few years, but to me the addition of the BTS sky train and the MRT underground stations have helped tremendously in making peoples’ lives so much more comfortable.  I know some people say that they find Bangkok hard to travel around, but I never find hopping onto the sky train a chore at all.  The real chore is shopping with the “trouble and strife” or simply the wife.  That is a whole other matter and why I am (also) known as the “Prisoner In Paradise” if you had not figured that out yet.

Within this massive heart spouts the aorta or the mighty Sukhumvit Road.  From the lower part of Sukhumvit are other major arteries that lead to Bangkok’s premier nightlife areas.  One major nightlife artery is Soi Nana, which remains a fascinating street lined with Hotels, restaurants, shops and yes, you guessed it loads of bars.  Before long most of us enter, Nana Entertainment Plaza and our lives change forever.  We should always remember that the middle word “entertainment” is what we are seeking.  So, with this in mind let us begin the journey inside…

THE BIG MANGO AND THE BIG BURGER

The Big Mango bar is located directly above Lucky Lukes on the right-hand side as you enter Nana Plaza.  This is a welcomed addition to the Nana Plaza bar scene, as it is a refreshing “chill out” bar.  A true haven can only be described as an oasis amid the neon jungle.  It is another good location to meet your friends in a relaxed atmosphere, where you can easily hear yourselves speak.  Owned by two young Americans Michael and Nick, I think people can do a lot worse than stop by here.  Simply, but nicely furbished it is always immaculately clean and tidy.  There are two 42-inch plasma TV screens, one on each level.   

Michael and Nick have an excellent value-for-money Happy Hour from 5pm-8pm, where beers and well drinks are only 60 baht.  As an Englishman I have no idea what “well drinks” means, but at 60 baht who is going to complain?  I enjoy swilling down a lovely cold “VB” or Victoria Bitter for only 95 baht.  VB is the popular imported Australian beer for the uninitiated.  Probably the best bitter around because it is not flat or warm like some British bitters, yet it has a refreshing taste and it is reasonably strong too.  When you drop by The Big Mango just ask for their full range of drinks, which include various exotic cocktails.      

The hamburgers are great! Blackened, grilled cheeseburger with fries and salad at Happy Hour is only 109 baht.  A hamburger with salad but no fries is an incredible gift at only 69 baht.  Two good friends of mine from America both said that it is the best hamburger they have ever tasted outside of America.  Now that sure is some compliment!  As Khun Leigh quipped, “Us Americans are experts on fast food; we grew up on junk food!”  Therefore, I was convinced I should try a Big Mango burger and ordered accordingly.  I recall Woodstock’s food being regularly consumed by many ex-pats (me being one), but I find these hamburgers even tastier.  They are made from fresh and they are certainly not tiny, both extremely delicious and at a superb price.  If anyone has seen me eat, it is not a pretty sight and after wolfing it down, I had to count my fingers!  When you enter the battlefield of Nana Plaza, these burgers really keep you fuelled up for the night assault.  As I was savaging my burger, I noticed the excellent panoramic view of Nana Plaza from their balcony.  This is a terrific view and a great vantage point for viewing Nana Plaza from a different perspective.  They have another level where you can shoot pool for only 10 baht.  There are a few friendly hostesses who will play pool and no doubt other sports…

THE BIG MANGO BAR HAS CLOSED

October 2007 – After only two years in Nana Plaza, the owners of the Big Mango Bar decided to close their bar.  It was a very sudden decision due to the “lease landlord” wanting an extremely extortionate rent increase.  Sadly, the Big Mango Bar was forced to close its doors.  The Big Mango Bar following is hoping that Big Mango will reopen in a new location in 2008.

THE BIG DOG OF BANGKOK

The mighty Big Dogs has certainly muscled in on the Soi Nana bar scene and remains firmly established as one of the busiest and most popular beer bars in the whole of Bangkok.  For many people that I speak to this remains their firm favourite for starting the rounds in Nana Plaza.  It is without any doubt one of the most consistently busy bars in Bangkok, with customers spotted swilling down a cold Heineken as early as 10.00am in the morning.  Some of us are not even getting home until then!  Big Dogs has to be the only serious rival to Morning Night (on Soi Nana), but both establishments are doing a very brisk trade indeed.  This place remains a very popular “OP” bar, and by “OP” I mean observation post.  If you position yourself near the front corner you can see nubile traffic coming and going in several directions, along both Soi Nana, as well as the entrance to Nana Plaza.  This is the best observation post in the street for avid bird watchers, although this particular species is the much sort after dolly bird.  You can see all kinds of dolly birds arriving for work from as early as 5:00pm.  However, the best go-go dancers often do not arrive until between 8:00pm and 10:00pm.  Just bear this in mind because the superstars do not have to be in the bar when it opens.  In fact, they could well be pre-booked before you even see them.  I know one avid dolly bird watcher who stops them on their way into Nana Plaza; he springs out and asks them where they work.  He then writes the all essential — name, rank and number down into his little black book.  This is my good friend, the Aussie photographer and avid dolly bird collector Slapman.

Big Dogs is run by the very friendly Canadian Walter, who I have had the pleasure of knowing for the past several years.  Walter is a very good host; he always has time for people and is one of the friendliest guys I have met in the bar business. 

I remember in the good old days at Hollywood Carousel if you got Walter in the right mood with some alcohol consumption, he is something of an exotic dancer himself.  Occasionally Walter would get merry and go-go dance in the bar, which had everybody in fits of laughter.  He certainly can be an entertaining guy and these are certainly some of my funniest memories.  Walter runs a tight operation and only employs good workers as he politely puts it.  I have to agree because there is always a good supply of bargirls here, although I know they are not all attractive, I must say I always find the girls friendly.  If you did not know, Big Dogs has so many bargirls on its books it operates in two shifts.  Yes, that is right both a day and a night shift.  Drop by Big Dogs Bar and I am quite confident it will be a pleasant experience for you.

THE OLDEST BEER BAR IN NANA PLAZA

The oldest beer bar in Nana Plaza is located opposite Big Dogs.  Lucky Lukes has always been something of an institution in Nana Plaza, especially in its early years with its unique rustic charm.  Just why Boss Hog tore it down I will never know, but the new Lucky Lukes is not a shadow of the old timber bar with the famous wagon wheels.  One observant friend commented upon Bog Hogs renovations, “It’s like a Doctors waiting room – cold, isolated and charmless.”  I did agree at the time, but since then Peter, the owner of Play Skool has revamped it and brought some life back into the place.  It is still not as popular as its rival Big Dogs opposite is, but it has become more popular with Peter taking over the running of it. 

I have been known to have the odd drink at Lucky Lukes chatting away with bestselling Bangkok author Dean Barrett.  Mind you trying to have a conversation with Dean is not easy with so many lovely girls around.  I have lost count how many times Dean has wondered off into fantasyland because yet another young dolly bird fluttered his heart.  Nevertheless, before stupid thoughts like marriage proposals begin to emerge, Dean snaps right out of it like the seasoned veteran that he is.  It soon brought Dean back down to earth when the petite bargirl said, “Next time you pay bar OK.”

WHAT IS THE IDEAL BARGIRL?

The ideal bargirl is a seductive little thing that could melt the heart of the devil.  She is so young and sweet, and yet, this Thai temptress goes like a Ferrari all night long.  She then proceeds to bathe and massage you.  Finally, when you are content, she turns into a pizza and a pint.  Sorry, back to reality… Dream on Dave!

VIAGRA IS NOT CANDY

A journey of a million miles begins with your first bar fine.  And so, here we are.  For writers many say getting started and keeping the momentum going is the hardest part.  Many of us in middle age find this a harsh reality in our sex lives too!  However, thankfully we have Viagra and other similar assistants for the “erection section.”  Available in various edible forms, but I just wonder if this is wise.  Some guys get a bit carried away and consume the Viagra far too soon.  One Englishman consumed not one, but two Viagra doses whilst he was still in Pretty Lady Go-Go bar.  Without question I made sure I was facing him at all times.  I tried to no avail to persuade him that it is best to be with his teelak (sweetheart) and in a bedroom at the time.  If he could not find his teelak in time, being a short man with large tackle, he could well have been doing an impression of a human tripod.

TAXI TRICKS

There has been an increase in the amount of tricks that Bangkok taxi drivers get up to. I know it can be easy to get distracted but please check that the driver turns the meter on. More and more taxi drivers are trying it on by asking for an inflated price and no meter. I have plenty of conversations with taxi drivers as I do speak Thai to a reasonably good conversational level. Times are very hard for them, so this sends out warning signs that they need to make money somehow. I just wanted you all to be aware of this and be street smart when dealing with Bangkok taxi drivers.

Try to act as if you fit in and the taxi driver might not be tempted to take you all around the houses to go to the front door. Taxi drivers the world over are quite notorious and nowhere more so than London. Imagine that poor foreign tourist going around in circles, probably passing Buckingham Palace three times. Make sure, if you know the route that the taxi driver is not taking you the long way to increase the meter fare. Also, never leave anything valuable in a taxi – you probably have more chance of winning the lottery than recovering your valuables.

I do feel sorry for the genuinely poorer hard working taxi drivers, who have hungry mouths to feed. Basically, there are too many metered taxis and they do have to compete with all the other modes of transportation. However, there are also plenty of conmen lurking to rip off a farang.

One other top tip I have is to ensure that you have enough change. It is worth investing a bit of time in breaking larger Thai bank notes, even if you just buy some chewing gum with a large bank note. So many times the taxi driver will give a devious smile and say, “Mie mee” (do not have). Thinking the farang is stupid, he hopes you will give a 100 baht note (or higher) for a 35 baht taxi ride. The small change advice also applies as a general rule in Thailand. As well as cash it saves, you time too and that means more time to spend with your teerak (sweetheart).

TAXI TRICKS TIPS — Be street smart, be switched on, do make sure you have the correct change, and do insist that the driver turns the meter on.  Chok Dee Kap!

HIGH SEASON HIKING

Whenever high season begins to emerge there are always those telltale signs. Dolly birds begin migrating back to the multitude of bars and nightspots in Bangkok and Pattaya.  More and more foreigners arrive, and almost inevitably, some nightspot owners see this as their right to an annual price increase. This is fine if the venue in question offers value for money and not just an opportunity for high season hiking…

December 2007 — Some bars in Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy have raised the price of beer, spirits and lady drinks.  You might want to check a few prices before you indulge.  Four go-go bars in Soi Cowboy now charge 150 Baht for a soft lady drink, and 200 Baht for a tequila lady drink.  However, some Soi Cowboy bars do offer some terrific Happy Hours.
   
PRETTY PREDICAMENT

Unfortunately, for Pretty Lady Go-Go Bar fans, this particular pleasure palace (ground level in Nana Plaza), remains closed do to an unresolved legal battle between the owners. We have no idea when, or how the dispute will be resolved. It is rumoured that the best solution would be for the conflicting parties to sell the bar. In the meantime, other bars like Play Skool, Angelwitch and the Rainbow Bars continue to benefit from the pretty predicament.

PRETTY LADY UPDATE

Since then, Pretty Lady Go-Go Bar on the ground level in Nana Plaza has reopened.  They recovered quickly and have steadily built up their trade with a stock of naughty nubiles.  The go-go dancers don skimpy skirts and are not shy about flashing their wares!

MOBILE MENACE

I often wonder if the modern technology of the mobile phone is a help or a hindrance. Have you noticed that there is still that one moron who has to answer his cell phone in a movie theatre? In addition, there is the loudmouth mobile user abuser, who has to shout VERY LOUD in public, so everybody hears them. And, only in “Amazing Thailand,” there are bargirls who answer their mobile phones while they are supposed to be having sex with a client.  The mind boggles!

CONSISTENT BAR CLOSING TIMES

I am pleased to say for Thailand Night Fever fans that closing times across the realm remain consistent. Pattaya has the biggest advantage, but Pattaya, the ultimate Pleasure Playground is all about nightlife. You can party 24 hours in Pleasure Playground if you so wish and this is how it should be. We all know that if we take the bars and the nightspots away, Pattaya would have nothing to offer. The go-go bars have the option to open until 3:00am and then party people can move to the late clubs and discos.

Here in Bangkok the go-go bars are open in Patpong, Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza until at least 2:00-2:30am.  I just wanted to dispel the myth that the Bangkok bars are forced to close at 1:00am. They were previously as part of the social order, or should I rephrase that social disorder campaign by the authorities. There are far less late night options in Bangkok than Pattaya, but they do exist.

BANGKOK CLUB SCENE UPDATE

Since then, some more late night venues have opened up.  The after hours “hot spot” right now is Spice Club in the Ambassador Hotel basement on Sukhumvit, Soi 11.  Spice Club is really pumping from 2:00am to 5:00am.  Many bargirls frequent Spice Club and party the night away into the early hours of the morning.  If you want to shake your stuff, this is the place.  Check it out!

MY FATHER HAS PASSED AWAY

My father passed away on August 22nd, 2007 and I did not update my blog for three weeks.  I went to England to comfort my mother, help organise the funeral, and pay my respects to my late father.  It was the saddest time in my life so far.  Although it was understandable, it was the longest break between articles since I launched my website in November 2006.

PATTAYA BARGIRL’S REALITY CHECK

My friend Special K recently decided to visit Pattaya, he normally resides in Bangkok, but I guess he just felt like visiting Pleasure Playground. Hey guys, with all of those lovely young dolly birds that Dana In America and others like so much, I find it impossible to question his decision. It was not long before Special K spotted a young dolly bird. He propositioned her with the oh so familiar, “How much for long time?” Some of you guys are killing me! You could build up to it and smooth talk the poor girl.  Anyway I digress…  The bargirl replies, “3,000 Baht because the girls in Bangkok charge that.” My friend spontaneously answered, “Yes, but we are in Pattaya.” And so, after a short pause the bargirl said, “OK, two thousand baht then.”  Following the brief “interview” the passionate, tropical night went something like this:-

She did offer her honour,

He did honour her offer,

And all night long…

He was on ‘er and off ‘er!

NANA PLAZA — NEON JUNGLE NEWS

There is a go-go bar that is sandwiched between Hollywood Rock and Rainbow 1 on the ground level in Nana Plaza, which has appeared to have inadvertently changed its name. The sign now reads “Lay Skool” which in all fairness is an accurate description. “Lay Skool” has increased its number of dolly birds as they have steadily built up the number of go-go pole performers. The owners decided to pay higher salaries to attract more girls and it seems to be paying off. They are also definitely benefiting from the closure of Pretty Lady.  Upon entering “Lay Skool” you will notice two things that really stand out.  Upon these two prominent sights are stars in the making. It is worthy of a visit and you do not need to be an astronomer to see the stars.

MIGHTY MIDGET

The cheerleaders at Lollipop Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza are an enthusiastic lot and none more so than their midgets. Yes, you heard right they even hire midgets.  Some of you eagle-eyed bird watchers will notice that the cute little female that I refer to simply as “Mighty Midget” is not outside cheering the customers into Lollipop Bar anymore. Well, I have a surprise for you because “Mighty Midget” is now go-go dancing in Lollipop. So, for all you admirers and those just plain curious, you can visit Lollipop and see “Mighty Midget” strutting her stuff.

A PLEASANT SURPRISE

One night in Angelwitch Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza, Khun Leigh decided to go home with a relatively new go-go dancer. After Khun Leigh’s meticulous deliberation, they both agreed that it would be good to have some fun together. The next night the slender new dancer approached Khun Leigh with a ten-baht coin. She was returning it to him after she had to borrow ten baht from his dresser for a motorcycle taxi. Thailand veteran Khun Leigh was pleasantly surprised and quite touched by the gesture. Quite often, I find that many bargirls get labelled as bad people. Just because a Thai woman works in the business of pleasure, it does not mean others have a right to label them as bad people. As a former social worker myself, we were constantly instructed to treat everybody as an individual.  Labels are for products and not people.

LOLITA’S HAS A SIGN TO REMEMBER

Walking past Lolita’s Bar just off Sukhumvit, Soi 8, I could not help but notice what was on the sign outside. Considering the service their girls provide, Lolita’s are most certainly doing some serious advertising for their business.  However, the two words on the sign could have a different meaning…  “Staff Wanted.”

LONG LIVE THE KING

His Majesty King Bhumibol celebrated a monumental birthday on December 5th, when His Majesty turned 80 years old. In many ways, devout Thai Buddhists revere His Majesty King Bhumibol (King Rama 9 of the Chakri Dynasty) as a god.  Nobody in his or her right mind would ever doubt or question His Majesty King Bhumibol’s relentless quest of giving heart and soul to his country.  Every road and soi was lined with people paying their respects to a truly legendary King of Thailand. It was a remarkable sight.  A sea of saffron swept across the city of angels, as many people wore their Royal Coronation polo shirts. May His Majesty reign for many years to come.  Long live the King!

BANGKOK BROADWAY

Angelwitch Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza has recently introduced even more shows to their broad repertoire.  Angelwitch now has 50 shows that are utilised in a rotation system.  I coined a phrase that I use to describe Angelwitch. I refer to what most people think is the finest Show Bar in Thailand as Bangkok Broadway. I think that it is a matter of personal preference when people refer to what they believe is the best go-go bar. However, in terms of the most professional choreographed shows in Thailand, Bangkok Broadway is the best. Like any go-go bar, it is by no means perfect but when referring specifically to shows, Bangkok Broadway is in a league of its own. As one devoted fan of Angelwitch said to me, “If Angelwitch is not the best, then why have so many go-go bars tried to copy their shows?” 

A few shows have been created from original ideas from none other than Dave The Rave himself. For example, I thought that “These Boots Are Made For Walking” by Nancy Sinatra, would make an excellent theme song with the concept of showgirls in boots.  After discussing the idea with owners Matt and Pim, the show choreographers applied the theme and a new show is born.  Perhaps you may decide to swing by and check out the new shows, and see the Thai twins in action.  Unless of course looking at attractive young showgirls in sexy outfits is not your thing.  As author Dean Barrett always says, “Attractive young girls in sexy outfits having fun is a winning formula”.

ANOTHER SUPERB YEAR FOR ANGELWITCH GO-GO BARS

December 2007 — The owners of Angelwitch Go-Go Bars in (Soi 15 Walking Street) Pattaya and (Nana Plaza) Bangkok wish to thank everybody who has visited their go-go bars throughout the past year.  Matt and Khun Pim are delighted to have had an excellent year.  Angelwitch extend a special thank you to their loyal following of friends.

DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

The neon jungle of Nana Entertainment Plaza contains some eccentric creatures of the night to say the very least. There seems to be an abundance of katoeys in certain locations. However, considering that katoeys cannot reproduce how come there are thousands of them?

The fact is that Nana Plaza contains no less than four official katoey bars and some bars that unethically blend some in with go-go girls. This mix and match method is something you should be aware of. Thankfully, the most popular bars namely the Rainbow Bars and Angelwitch do not follow this practice. For your reference the katoey bars are – Obsession (located next to Rainbow 2 on floor 1), Temptation (next to Rainbow 4 on floor 2), Casanova (next to DC 10 on floor 2), and Cascade (next to Carnival on floor 3). These four bars listed above are entirely katoey bars (with the full landing gear), so bear that in mind before you start to French kiss Harry!

MANDARIN – THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT

Mandarin is one particular go-go bar in the neon jungle of Nana Plaza, which is causing quite a stir. Mandarin is situated in the far corner of the middle level behind the escalator (the electric stairs that occasionally work!).

The French ownership have recently introduced some saucy “ooh la la” to make their particular product more dishy. Aim your sights closer to the heavens. Because, you must remember that the steamy stuff is on the top floor above the glass ceiling. Mandarin has offerings of their forbidden fruit in much more natural attire, compared to most of the surrounding pleasure palaces. You walk in and the attraction is very evident… Holly hooters Batman!

THE TUNNEL OF LOVE

The Tunnel (Lang Suan) is a newly established late nightclub, which recently hosted Chicago’s house music veteran Johnny Fiasco on September 26. Famous Fiasco has released his “prime cuts” with Cajual, Brique Rouge and Om Records. The event that was launched as a “Fiasco In The Tunnel” certainly proves that The Tunnel located on Lang Suan Soi 5 has definitely made an impact on the Bangkok club scene. The Tunnel gets going after 10:00 PM and is currently staying open until 5:00 AM. You should bear in mind that although this is a great late night venue, it does get packed to the rafters on Fridays and Saturdays. A better alternative might be Ladies Night. The Tunnel’s Ladies Night is every Tuesday, and the cover charge is 300 Baht, which includes one drink of your choice. Some party people believe that The Tunnel is seriously rivalling Spicy, as their favourite choice of late nightclub. Check it out!

TURNING JAPANESE

While I was working on the computer, I was listening to my “Best Of The 80’s” music CD and the pop song “Turning Japanese” came on. Do you remember that song? It reminded me that we seem to be suffering an Asian Invasion in what were originally very much farang nightlife areas. Certain venues in Bangkok are definitely turning Japanese. Here is an example of what I mean…

My friend Khun Soon Bai wanted to take a stroll outside of his normal hunting grounds of Soi Cowboy and Soi Nana. And so, Mr. Too Tall decided to stop off in Thermae Coffee Shop. This was one of my old haunts back when it was open until 6:00am – those were the good old days! Upon entering Thermae, Khun Soon Bai is shocked that it is Singapore in 1941 all over again. In other words, totally overrun with Japanese. Alas, yet another venue that has turned into a Jap Trap!

SHE SAID HER NAME WAS…

The old beer bargirl was long past her sell-by date, but Khun Leigh and I thought that we would be polite and engage her in brief conversation. She said her name was Well, but we refer to her as Well Worn!

SAME SAME BUT DIFFERENT

A friend quoted this comment to me that originated from a sober bargirl.  “This is my twin sister, same Mamma but different Pappa.”

LONG GUN OR SHORT GUN

Approaching most go-go bars, you are often accosted by various door staff. Down in Soi Cowboy I was visiting Long Gun with a friend one evening, when an effervescent young dolly bird greeted us with a sweet smile. My naïve friend said, “Long Gun” and the streetwise bargirl replied, “Long gun or short gun, you can still shoot your gun.”

PATTAYA — PLEASURE PLAYGROUND

I first visited Pattaya in the 1980’s and no place in the whole of Thailand has seen such immense growth. Pleasure Playground is the term that I use for Pattaya and I think it sums up in two words what the essence of Pattaya truly is. Along the Soi 6 strip, it is a kind of “Sinset Boulevard” with the short-time bars doing a roaring trade. Some of the bargirls in these bars really are Martini girls.  Do you remember the TV advert? Any time, any place, anywhere! In fact, some of the Soi 6 bargirls have seen more action than a Vietnam veteran.

THE REAL VIRGIN BARGIRL

Ricky, the owner of Sisterz Go-Go Bar told me a classic true tale from Walking Street in Pattaya that I just had to share with you all.  Ricky managed to take on a “real” virgin in a go-go bar that he was previously working in. The more experienced bargirls were educating her about the facts of life. The virgin was told to be prepared for foreigners with large sex tools. One experienced bargirl pointed out that the black ones can be really HUGE. Just then, the virgin bargirl asked, “How do I know if he has a black one?”
Ricky swears this is a true tale and that as lovely as the young dolly bird is, she is as thick as a whale sandwich. Bless her little G-string!

BOXING CLEVER

Recently the “trouble and strife” or the wife, bought me some new underwear. But, during a rush in the busy Sukhumvit, Soi 19 branch of Robinson’s Department Store, the “trouble and strife” picked a smaller size than desirable. My new boxers have won the fight!

SOI COWBOY — LITTLE LAS VEGAS

Having a stroll through “Little Las Vegas” or Soi Cowboy is never a dull experience for me personally. I think that the Q factor (quantity of quality) has risen considerably in some go-go bars in Soi Cowboy. Combined with the BIG advantage of “showing”, Soi Cowboy has emerged as a more popular nightspot throughout this past year. This especially applies to farang residents who like to frequent Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza and the many good pubs and theme bars that Bangkok offers in abundance. Soi Cowboy remains a popular choice for a wide selection of the farang expats. When you see some of the eye candy on offer, it is not surprising!

Down in Soi Country you will be pleased to know that the dolly birds are still at one with nature.  These particular dolly birds like the freedom and feel of natural attire.  I must say that as an avid dolly bird watcher I totally approve!  Do you fancy a spot of bird watching?  If you want to see the illustrious lovebirds in action, pop into Suzie Wongs, or Shebas (nightly).  Other hot spots include Long Gun, Raw Hide, Dollhouse, Shark Bar and Baccara.

NOTE THE QUOTE

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.” – Henry Youngman.

In a country like Thailand, the theory that you should not mix business with pleasure is always a challenge for bar owners and managers. I recall a quote from a former go-go bar owner that sums it up in one line…

“Never let your little head rule your big head.”

I was talking one evening to an English friend who was explaining to me his theory on the “casting couch” and what his requirements are. Whenever Jim takes any bargirl home, she must be willing to perform fellatio. I think this is a prerequisite for many guys before they take the girl out of a bar. Here is Jim’s classic line, “I have a strict bargirl policy, no blow no go.”

STICKMANIA BY DAVE THE RAVE

My first Stickman’s Readers Submission can be read on this LINK HERE.

Thank you very much for visiting my website throughout the year.  I sincerely wish you a wealthy & healthy Happy New Year!

EMAIL — Davetheravebangkok@gmail.com

DON’T BE A FOOL PROTECT YOUR TOOL

In the meantime, if you can’t be good be careful… Safe sex saves lives!

Reporting live from the heart of Thailand…

Dave The Rave — Go-Go Guru.