It is the season to be jolly, or is it? The whole Christmas carnival is an extremely expensive affair in Farangland, amid this modern age of extortion. Some families put money aside all year just for a short, but painfully costly Christmas. Of course, not wishing to put a total negative spin on it, the kids love it. I dare say the BIG kids love it too! Dads’ have a legitimate excuse to get smashed drunk and mums’ have a license to put a large dent in the family bank account. A lot of kids’ nowadays do not ask what gifts they are getting, but instead unashamedly demand what they want. I think it is all one BIG consumer racket. When you consider all the time, money and effort, it is remarkable that this if for only two days. However, in saying that it is one time of year that farang families get together. Although I am obviously not a fan of the commercial side of Christmas, I do miss Christmas Day with my family. I really should make the effort to go back to England for Christmas one of these years…
*Photo of MBK with kind permission of Stickman*
I REALLY LOVE CHRISTMAS
An Englishman who I know said that he really enjoys Christmas. The funny thing is he has not been back to England in almost 15 years. Whilst sitting in a packed go-go bar in Nana Plaza he said, “I just love X-mas shopping.”
SOI COWBOY BECOMES SOI CHRISTMAS
Down the Wild West end of town, some bars in Soi Cowboy have made a fantastic effort with Christmas decorations. Some go-go bars in Soi Cowboy really have gone to town. Combined with streams of bright neon, Soi Cowboy is a splendid spectacle. Superficially, Soi Cowboy beats Nana Plaza and Patpong easily with its visual display. The little Miss Santa’s are the icing on the Christmas cake.
NO SECOND CHANCE TO MAKE A FIRST IMPRESSION
Christmas is almost upon us; it is creeping up and will suddenly appear. Nevertheless, as soon as it appears it will disappear. Even though it is a short period, the Thais are never slow in decorating stores, shops, supermarkets, bars, hotels and restaurants. The Thai people are gifted with a natural talent for presentation skills. Just look at the decorations and elaborate displays in supermarkets. In terms of presentation, the Thais get top marks from me.
THE JINGER BEN SEASON
The festive period is what we could call the “Jinger Ben” season. The other night one of the Angelwitch Showgirls was attempting to sing Jingle Bells. With Miss Da’s pronunciation, it came out something like “Jinger Ben.” Bless her, she was happy even if our ears were not! Have you noticed how the Thais have a total obsession for this song? Every time you go shopping, they all play that infernal song repeatedly. Like a water torture, it never seems to end. Furthermore, I just hope that the show choreographers in Angelwitch Go-Go Bar have not created a “Jinger Ben Show.” You know when you have been in Thailand too long, because even farangs start humming, or even worse singing along to the tune. How do you know when you have really lost it? The song comes out “Jinger Ben!”
This is the time of year, when a lot of bar owners wonder what has happened to the high season. However, it is the same every year during this period. I refer to it as the “expat exodus,” as a lot of resident expats fly home for Christmas. A very experienced bar manager told me that the establishment he runs is deathly quiet. An appropriate Christmas song would be Silent Night. Unfortunately, he is not alone, as many bars are feeling the pinch this Christmas. Also of course, there is the issue about the Thai Elections. It is ridiculous to think that a country that relies heavily upon tourism, orders a ban on alcohol during high tourist season. Shame on you! As an unimpressed Scotsman said to me, “Amazing Thailand, huh that’s a joke.” I dare say that there are some confused and frustrated visitors who have recently arrived in the so-called Land of Sanuk (Land Of Fun). They will be sad to discover that the oasis has become a desert. My friend from Scotland also added, “I would be pissed off if I arrived for a holiday and no bars were open for several days.” I am usually never one to be negative, but I have to agree with my Scottish friend on this one. Basically, the Thai authorities have screwed up big time!
*Be prepared that December 22 and 23 will most probably be NO ALCOHOL days.*
CHRISTMAS IN THE CATHOUSE
This forthcoming Christmas Eve (December 24th for non-churchgoers!), Cathouse are offering a Christmas Buffet. Turkey with all the trimmings will be served from 5:00pm until 8:00pm. It is an incredibly good deal at ONLY 250 Baht. The new Cathouse Happy Hour runs from 5:00pm until 8:00pm. Chang, Heineken, Tiger, Singha, and Beer Lao are ONLY 59 Baht. Cheers for the cheap beers!
Cathouse is located directly above Big Dogs Bar in Nana Plaza. Christmas in the Cathouse sure beats being in the doghouse!
A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS DINNER IN WOODSTOCK BAR
The all new Woodstock Bar & Grill has relocated to 44 Soi Thonglor 13 in Bangkok. Woodstock are offering a fabulous festive feast. Check out the new Woodstock Bar and Grill’s awesome Christmas Menu on this LINK HERE.
The subject from the Go-Go Guru’s Code Of Conduct this week consists of one strict rule. Really, this should be a no brainer for most of you, but nevertheless headaches occur all the time. The first rule is one that people should automatically realise, but do not. NEVER take photographs, or videos of the go-go girls on stage. It is now tourist season, or as the Pattaya hardcore say, “It’s idiot season!” There is always that one person who has to stand up and take a photograph, or shoot a video of the action on a go-go stage. How can you help? Please advise any newcomers that this is the first thing they should NEVER EVER do.
One evening in Angelwitch Go-Go Bar an American customer got quite upset, when a Mamasan demanded that he delete an image. After he had calmed down, I reminded him what would have happened to him in a strip club in America. He wised up and shook my hand as he apologised. I sometimes reflect upon a visit to a strip club in Canada. A man looked like he was possibly going to take a camera out of a case. You can imagine the menacing, icy stares that the bouncers gave the poor guy! In Western strip clubs, those bouncers really mean business and the bums rush comes at 100 miles per hour. We should remember that the Thai way is much more tolerant. It is a verbal not physical approach. If you take a photograph, or video in a Western strip club, you will very quickly be doing an impression of a human glider.
Shakerz Coyote Club – Above Swan Bar – Soi Nana – Bangkok
DAVE THE RAVE IS A MANCHESTER UNITED FAN
On the subject of Manchester United, I think Carlos Tevez is proving to be a fantastic superstar signing for Manchester United. In the highly competitive English Premier League this season, Carlos Tevez has certainly proved himself worthy of his place among the elite. At times Tevez shows some of the flare of George Best (RIP), combined with the tenacity of Dennis Law. Tevez is a truly gifted player. Furthermore, his goal sealed another victory for Manchester United against rival reds Liverpool. In what I predicted to be a very exciting match, Liverpool played good attacking football in the second half. However, Manchester United denied Liverpool a chance to equalise. I am sure Sir Alex Ferguson was very pleased with the result and with the excellent form of Tevez. Nice one Carlos, nice one son, nice one Carlos, let’s have another one! Please excuse me, I got a bit carried away there… I thought I was at the match for a minute!
EVEN MY DOG HAS A BLOG!
Weblog is the technical term for an online journal. Originally, weblogs were launched in the corporate field, but usually only cyber space nerds refer to them as weblogs. More informally, a “blog” can be an online diary, or related to a particular subject. Therefore, “blogging” is writing one. Most “Bloggers” would like to be classed as “blogerati,” which means the blogging elite. Nowadays millions of people have their own blog. Hey, even my dog has a blog!
OK guys, that’s the nerdy explanation out of the way. Basically, what you are reading right now is a WordPress blog. I decided to integrate my website into a blog, in order that I would not feel under pressure to maintain a website. Let me remind you that I was a complete web dummy. I had never even sent an email in my life, until I moved to Bangkok 10 years ago. It is surpring what you can achieve if you put your mind to it.
GETTING BLOGGED DOWN
I notice that the Thailand internet columnist landscape continues to get thinner. Fairly recently several internet columnists have decided to quit blogging. Then suddenly, this week Bangkok Bad Boy now joins the list of people who have terminated their blog. Who will be next? You may well wonder who will be the next blogger to become an internet quitter. I hope that most of you will be pleased to know that Dave The Rave intends to continue with this Bangkok Blog.
Some of you will be surprised to learn that I was a professional martial artist for 25 years. Throughout my martial arts career, I firmly believed in this motto — “a quitter never wins, a winner never quits.” I am certainly not a quitter and hopefully my blog will continue to grow and flourish. Apart from unforeseeable circumstances, I will continue writing. Many of you thank me for my efforts, but a blog is nothing without a healthy readership. Your continued support and loyalty is very much appreciated.
EMAIL — Davetheravebangkok@gmail.com
In the meantime, I hope you have a good Christmas. Happy Holidays!