Thailand Night Fever

THE HOG’S LAST BREATH

There is sad news for those who used to frequent Hog’s Breath Saloon (located on floor 2 in Nana Plaza), because an era has come to an end. The owners finally decided to sell up; this follows many years of serving their loyal following of Western expats. Bob has co-owned Hog’s Breath since 1987 and it is sad to think this is the Hog’s last breath.

Bars are bought and sold all the time, but what took people by surprise was that there was no warning and as the new owner entered the staff exited. It all happened so suddenly, which does often have to happen in this unscrupulous go-go bar business. The reason for the silence is sometimes because a competitor could counter the offer if they were to hear about the deal before it was closed. The closure of the place will be a heavy blow for some of the guys who have hung out there for years like the old soi boys they are. Here is what a regular had to say about the sudden closure of Hog’s Breath Saloon, “I’m pretty adaptable and the Big Mango (floor 2 above Lucky Lukes) has cheap beer, modern facilities, a great view of the scene, it’s quieter, the toilet is clean, and it serves food, too! But as men age they don’t like to see their favorite places disappear. It’s like part of their youth has been buried in an unmarked grave. I would have thought there would be a big “thank you” blowout for all the patrons it has seen over the years.”

They say that all good things come to an end and so, what is the future for Hog’s Breath? The owner of Midnight, Déjà vu and Spice Girls, has purchased both Spanky’s and Hog’s Breath, with the later deal for Hog’s Breath just about finalized last week. The proud owner of these two bars has an elaborate plan to convert the two bars into one go-go bar. The new bar when completed will retain the name Spanky’s. I suspect there will be some sad looking expats around for a while and I dare say some disappointed Thais who will not be continuing their employment. But, this has been a shock for both the Hog’s Breath regulars and the staff. As we all know life goes on and staff and customers will all find a new home. Bob has said that there will be a farewell party and the Hog’s Breath Golf Society will continue, but they will have to relocate. I would like to wish Bob and Kammee all the best for the future. It remains to be seen whether the new owner can build a good bar or not. Time will tell.

For information about the Hog’s Breath Golf Society please email Michael at – mek@hogsbreathgolf.com

SUMMARY – My heart sinks slightly as I walk past Hog’s Breath and glance at the padlocked door, yet the memories remain. As the legendary Sir William Shakespeare so aptly put it, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

BARON BONK RIDES AGAIN

Just the other night I met Baron Bonk out on the town and we had a chat. I am pleased to report to Baron Bonk fans, that the ole Baron will still continue to write his newsletter. However, for health reasons the Baron’s newsletter will most probably become a monthly edition. Baron Bonk has diligently written his nightlife newsletter for six years now and we should all respect his wishes to take more of a backseat. I told the Baron myself that it would be a great shame for his popular nightlife newsletter to end, and so this is good news. Do not despair because Baron Bonk rides again!

WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?

Khun Soon Bai mentioned to me that there was a punch up in Soi Nana, which happened recently at approximately 2:00am in the Nana Hotel parking lot. Two farangs in around their mid-twenties were fighting each other for reasons the bewildered onlookers remained clueless about. When the Police came, one of the perpetrators tried to disappear – last Khun Soon Bai saw was the cop was pursuing him to Sukhumvit Road. The Thais of course, don’t care when it is just to two Westerners fighting each other, but you can imagine the contempt factor.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

The rumors have been confirmed as fact, that a very popular pole performer has left Angelwitch (floor two in Nana Plaza). The very attractive and talented Noi, who was one of the main Angelwitch showgirls, has stopped work. In actual fact there are two showgirls called Noi – there is Big Noi and Little Noi and both of them have stopped working at Angelwitch. This is sad news for one local celebrity.

Following an outright refusal by the teen twins, the ill-fated author Dean Barrett, suffers yet another mighty blow. Dean admits his intense infatuation to the adorable Miss Noi was shared by others, but Dean was still shocked to see Noi snatched from his fantasy. To assist with Dean’s recovery Angelwitch now have a total of 150 staff. With the vast majority being naughty nubiles he should be able to put this behind him.

Sometimes a guy likes a pole performer so much that he will pay a fee to “buy out” (ser tua ork) the girl and this is exactly what happened. Two gentlemen paid an undisclosed amount of cash to Angelwitch for the loss of what was clearly two of their very best showgirls. But, for Angelwitch fans do not be concerned, because the new recruits include two excellent replacements who were formerly Long Gun showgirls. Ta and Preeo are not strangers to the show stage and with their looks and figures they positively embellish the stage. In addition, the teen twins are maturing into very attractive young women. Us dolly bird watchers on babe watch patrol, eagerly observe as their figures develop in all the right places.

Those popular teen twins are back in action in the Bangkok branch of Angelwitch after performing shows at the 1st Anniversary Party for Angelwitch in Pattaya. Only in “Amazing Thailand” could they inadvertently be named Ae and Bee. When the teen twins are introduced it is quite funny. Here is “A” and here is “B”.

They are becoming quite the little starlets as they perform a variety of different shows in Angelwitch on a nightly basis. These talented Thai twins obviously enjoy performing on stage, but that cute naivety is still evident and this adds to the charm. Perhaps the fact that they are shooting starlets makes these teen twins much more appealing than Dean Barrett’s Thai twins. We are led to believe they are of virginal purity, but this still remains somewhat of a mystery. But, what is definitely true is that their Mother keeps a watchful eye on her enchanting twin daughters. She is a long term employee who works behind the bar. The twin’s Mother turned down 100,000 baht offered by one guy to take them both for the night. There still has been nobody barfine either “A” or “B”, so the challenge still continues. Which dashing gentleman can charm the twins into going with him? Stay tuned folks for more adventures of the Amazing Thailand teen twins!

PRIZE JOOLS

If you are on the hunt for authentic farang food it is very difficult to better the bang for Baht you get at Jools Bar and restaurant. Located opposite the newest 7-Eleven on Soi Nana, there is no crappy pub grub served here – you know like chicken in a basket. Instead, Jools provides large traditional meals like good old fashioned toad-in-the-hole and hearty English breakfasts. I know that the owner Big Dave has worked very hard over the years to provide very authentic farang food, and all at very competitive prices I will add. In particular Big Dave’s roast dinners are excellent. After you have ascended the spiral staircase that leads to the restaurant you will find the walls covered with all kinds of interesting memorabilia. It is also true that the book “Private Dancer” was based on a true story that emerged from conversations in Jools. Bestselling British author Stephen Leather who wrote and published Private Dancer still visits Jools when he is in the Big Mango.

CELEBRITY CORNER

To put a new spin on an old adage, “the early author catches the bookworm”. I have always been fascinated by prolific writers’, but especially by diligent and talented authors who produce a stream of excellent books. Here in Thailand I admire the work of several authors, some I am proud to say are good friends of mine. As I have just mentioned Stephen Leather is the genius behind “Private Dancer” which is without any question an absolute cult classic. The scary thing about “Private Dancer” is that is it based on a true story and it is revered by some as the best novel of its genre. What some people do not know is that Stephen Leather is the bestselling author of a series of thrillers. Steve is one of the most talented thriller writers around today and his thrillers have a big market in the UK. Recently I have enjoyed reading two more of Steve’s bestselling thrillers entitled “Hard Landing” and “Soft Target”. The main character is an ex-SAS soldier called “Spider” and you can be assured that Steve puts “Spider” in all kinds of precarious predicaments. Please check out Steve’s website to learn more about him and his books. 

Website Address – www.stephenleather.com

RAINBOW ROUNDUP

One go-go bar that has for some time now been the talk of the town is the absolutely awesome Rainbow Four. Located on floor 2 in Nana Plaza, this beast of a bar replaced the old Woodstock and Rosemarie Bar. OK, we know it was designed with the vision of Stevie Wonder, but this place has the largest collection of dolly birds inside four walls in the whole of Thailand. The level of talent floats between 200 and 250 pleasure palace pole performers and that is a hell of a flock of dolly birds!

There are two tactical approaches that you can use here; one is to be mobile and browse around, or use a good Mamasan to feed you a supply of dolly birds. If you take the middle path and base yourself in between the two dance stages, you can view both with a bit of neck cranking. One thing is for sure, nobody can complain about lack of dolly birds in Rainbow Four.

THE RETURN OF MAMASAN ANN

Mamasan Ann has returned to Rainbow 1 (located on floor one next to Play Skool) this month to assist with this very busy little bar. Mamasan Ann has previous experience from running Hollywood Strip (Floor Three in Nana Plaza), Rainbow 1 and Paris Go-Go Bar (Soi Diamond in Pattaya). Ann has a proven track record of being a competent Mamasan and is a popular Mamasan in Bangkok among frequent visitors. Ann will give honest and accurate recommendations in a fun and friendly way without being pushy or aggressive. Ann will help take some of the headaches away in this most uncertain of bar businesses. Along with the stunning dancers in Rainbow 1, with a good Mamasan at hand you can be more confident of having a good time. As you are aware it can be hit or miss in the business of pleasure, where the result of your experience can certainly be a gamble. The Rainbow Bars can be controversial, so it is a relief to know that you can call upon the services of an experienced and honest Mamasan.

TALES OF THAILAND

“I was in the German Beer Garden in Sukhumvit Soi 7 on Saturday doing my usual perching and drinking, talking to a few old favorites. There was one girl in there who works as a waitress at night in a steakhouse. I met her late at night in the Nana Hotel parking lot on her first night and she actually had to ask me what the girls charged for their services. Now, fast forward to today. She works the day shift on the weekend at the Beer Garden and has kept her night job. She asked me for money when she left the Beer Garden to go to work and told me some other girl I had been talking to was her friend (not true). Doesn’t take them long to get corrupted, does it?

After she left, another girl who had been flirting with me (hard to believe I know, but there it was, all glances and smiles towards me) came over to talk to me. She said she was a jewelry maker and that day was her first in the Beer Garden. Well, I chatted to her in Thai because she could hardly speak any English and bought her a drink. She was just what I like, nice and sweet, natural. So I asked her if she was free. “Free for what?”, she replied. I told her more directly, “You know, for short time.”

“No”, she said, “I can’t go anywhere with you.” So a bit puzzled I asked her, “Well, why are you here?” She said, “Because I need the money.” And, with that look they give you she just kept standing in front of me with a smile on her face and I asked again in case there was miscommunication. Nope, same, same. I finally had to ask her, “Why are you still standing here if you don’t want to go with me?” Man, that was new. She went back to talk to her friend who is no stranger to the Beer Garden, and she gave a couple of looks in my direction but nothing further happened. I have no idea what that girl wanted from me or expected the Beer Garden was all about – did she think she would just get some money for not being able to speak English from some guy? Puzzling, especially since she pretty well initiated the contact.” (Written By Khun Soon Bai).

Your input is welcome please email me – davetheravebangkok@gmail.com

APPRECIATIONS

My special thanks go out to Khun Soon Bai, Special K and Mr. Ed.