Ever considered what is Thailandโs most marketable asset? No, itโs not cheap sex, but youโre close. Most people would guess itโs rice, sugar and corn. In fact, itโs rubber or, more specifically, Thai condoms!
Thatโs right, rubber farming, or rather rubber tapping, as this is the method used to extra rubber from trees, is big business here in the Land of Smiles.
Rubber farmers have often found themselves at loggerheads with the governing authorities over a fair price for rubber. And the government usually responds with a stimulus package that guarantees the price of rubber sourced from local production for the 1.6 million people registered with the Thai Rubber Authority.
Thai rubber has recently been given the sustainability green light following disturbing reports of an unregulated industry causing deforestation and soil erosion, with pesticide use eradicating insects and other forest-dwelling critters, affecting local biodiversity and generally being unregulated and environmentally unsound.
Now Thailandโs rubber farmers are being encouraged to work towards the Forest Stewardship Council certificate, which guarantees their rubber has been produced and harvested sustainably and without the use of pesticides. The organic rubber market is taking shape, and with it, rubber farmers armed with their sustainability certificate can command a higher price for their produce, as customers opt to pay more for goods they are told do not damage the planet.
Now Thailandโs rubber farmers are being encouraged to work towards the Forest Stewardship Council certificate, which guarantees their rubber has been produced and harvested sustainably and without the use of pesticides. The organic rubber market is taking shape, and with it, rubber farmers armed with their sustainability certificate can command a higher price for their produce, as customers opt to pay more for goods they are told do not damage the planet.
Thai Condoms for the World!
So, with the price rising for sustainably farmed rubber, it may come as a bit of a surprise to learn that Thailand, famous for its rice crops and sugarcane, exports more rubber than it does rice. Or to be more specific, in 2022 The kingdom exported US$2.7 billion worth of Thai condoms to the rest of the world. Making Thailand the leading exporter of pregnancy preventers the world over.
This may come as a surprise to many of you who, by now, will have experienced Thai condoms. For any average Western guy, Thai condoms double up as excellent finger puppets as you try, and fail miserably, to impress a thirsty bunch of maidens in a bar with a belly full of Leo.
In fact, Thai condoms are useful for very little else, unless, of course, youโre hung like an Asian man. As legend has it, our brothers from Africa are tooled up enough to scare off a potential threesome with Slack Alice and her best mate Baggy Ann.
Whereas the opposite is most certainly the case when it comes to our stunted cousins in the East. So, itโs always wise to check your measurements before you buy yourself any Thia condoms ahead of a night of passion.
Thai condoms, and this goes for most of Asia, are numbered somewhere between 49 and 59. Apparently, these are supposed to represent millimetres and you chose the correct number according to your, um.. girth.
I always find itโs a good idea to write down my girth on the back of my hand because after a few too many sherberts Iโm not sure whether 56 is the price of a Chang during a peak Pattaya happy hour, the age of the girl whoโs whispering sweet mai khaojais in my ear.
Trust me, you donโt want to get caught with your pants down in 7-Eleven with a tape measure in one hand and Mr. Floppy in the other trying to convince the service staff that you are 56 in Thai condoms size and that youโre not referring to your age.
In this instance, itโs always wise to be well-prepared for a night out in Thailand and fill your back pocket with as many cock socks as you can afford. Itโs not that the lady youโre likely to be nailing within the first five minutes of meeting wonโt be prepared.
Itโs just that a Thai ladyโs preparedness may only have gone so far as to consider the average-sized Asian guy sheโs grown up with and have only Thai condoms in her fanny pack. And trust me, it is not an enjoyable experience to have a lady with talons the size of a golden eagle, trying to squeeze your bell end into a No. 49.
And now with news that Thailand leads the race in the global condom export market, it might be a good idea to put a different spin on a night in with your squeeze.
