AFTER DARK ASIA — VOLUME 7
The next edition of the go-go girly magazine After Dark Asia will be on sale soon. The initial launch date was set for August 8th. However, the publisher’s estimation was a little premature. Thailand’s top glossy girly magazine will be on the shelves around the middle of this month. One of the partners is an image artist and the other is more of a piss artist! (I just couldn’t resist having a joke about good ole Bob). The photographer formerly worked for Penthouse Magazine, which explains the superb quality of the photos. This cover shot is one of the best I’ve seen. It is an excellent photo and the dolly birds are sensationally sensual. Copies are available from newsstands in Bangkok, but After Dark Asia is much more widely available across Pattaya. Check it out!
DESTINATION BANGKOK/PATTAYA – 23:59 HOURS
You are out on the town amid the heart of the nightlife action. It is getting late and you have the midnight munchies. As HRH Prince Charles would say, “What does one do about that?” Well guys, one takes oneself to Foodland Supermarket. Upon entering the door, you will see the Took Lae Dee restaurant. Took Lae Dee literally means “cheap and good.” Oh dear, now I have disclosed that, I hope the place is not overrun with Cheap Charlies! Cheap and good is exactly how I would describe the food. Another big bonus is that they are open 24 hours. I don’t know about you, but where I’m from in England, everything closes at 10:30pm on a Sunday night. Thank the lord for 24-hour restaurants in the City Of Angels! I think we sometimes take these convenient luxuries for granted. Hey guys, we shouldn’t take it for granted!
There are branches of Took Lae Dee throughout parts of Bangkok and Pattaya. Personally, I have eaten at Took Lae Dee in both Pattaya (Central Pattaya) and the Sukhumvit, Soi 5 branch in Bangkok. In Central Pattaya, the Foodland store still looks new compared to the Bangkok branches. Furthermore, the Central Pattaya branch is very clean and tidy. It is much less crowded than its Bangkok counterparts. With this in mind, the food is superb and the service is friendly and efficient. The Indian chicken curry with fried onions sprinkled on top, was one of the best convenience curries I have eaten in a long time. Don’t worry it is quite mild. There’s no need to put the toilet paper in the fridge! You won’t suffer from hotty botty!
Unfortunately, the branch in Sukhumvit, Soi 5 can get very crowded in the early hours of the morning. With the amount of Arabs and Africans visiting, it’s like an Arabian Amazon. If you are not into crowded or boisterous places, then don’t visit this branch late at night. With some of the behaviour that goes on there, it is definitely not for the fainthearted! However, Took Lae Dee is an ideal eatery for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
It is past midnight and a row of chefs cook away almost nonstop behind the oblong counter. Their woks are going twenty-two to the dozen. This is Thai style fast food and it’s damned good value-for-money. You can observe your Thai food stir-fried at a frenetic pace right in front of you. Throughout the process, the “wok-ers” maintain a fluent conversation with the person next to them. They joke around in true Thai fun fashion.
Ngarn means both party and work in Thai. Therefore, if work cannot be fun (sanuk), then the chef is not a happy chappy! This piece of Thai culture applies to most jobs. If work is too serious, this alone could well make a Thai quit their job. As an enthusiastic Thai girl said to me, “Life is supposed to be enjoyable, so we should make our work fun too.” This young woman could be a millionaire if she could implement that concept into the western world. Just look at some of the misery in the farang workplace; some workers look like they are on death row! Can you picture it? You are at work in Farangland and Miserable Malcolm shuffles by… There are echoes all around him as the lads say, “We’ve got a dead man walking!”
I have been eating at Took Lae Dee in the Sukhumvit, Soi 5 branch for the best part of 10 years. Service can be slow at times, because they only have one speed. I think they are on autopilot. Bless them! But, I cannot recall ever having a bad meal there. Took Lae Dee beats the hell out of an overpriced and overrated hotel restaurant close to Nana Plaza. Say no more!
If you don’t fancy facing the Arabian Amazon experience, there is another tactic that Dave The Rave uses. I survey the menu and then, I endeavour to attract the attention of somebody who will take my order. I hit the jackpot, because a Thai woman armed with a pen and pad is standing right next to me. I proceed to order my takeaway and then, stroll off into the supermarket. By the time, I have picked up a few items and paid for them, my takeaway is ready. I hate just sitting there waiting. I’m sure you know that feeling; sat among strangers that might as well be from another planet. At 3:00am in the morning, you can meet some scary creatures of the night. No not me, I make good use of the time, while my takeaway is being prepared. The prices are very reasonable in the supermarket and the quality/range of products is satisfactory as well. Unlike some men, I find solo shopping quite relaxing. However, if I have had a particularly heavy “booze cruise” that night, the items I end up buying can leave me rather confused the next day. You know that feeling… Why the hell did I buy that?
Some people say that I often talk about farang food, which is true. And so, on this occasion I am talking about tasty Thai dishes. Western dishes are available, but I think with Took Lae Dee, it is better to go native. I like the kao pat gai, or chicken fried rice. In fact, most of the basic Asian dishes are delicious. The food is so cheap that my mate Union Hill tips more than I pay! Overall, Foodland Supermarket is a cheap and convenient place to both eat and shop. Enjoy!
NANA PLAZA — WELCOME TO THE NEON JUNGLE
Rumours are emerging from the bamboo bugle that the closing time in Nana Plaza will change soon. Nana Plaza continues to suffer the dreaded 1:00am closing, but hopefully not for much longer. Word on Nana Street is that the closing time will revert back to 2:00am in a few days time. Hooray! Again, let me stress how important that extra 60-90 minutes makes. The party people are happy and the bars make more money. There are some very strange vibes amid the confusingly complex world of Thai politics. The Thai authorities are coming and going like punters in a busy short time hotel. Unfortunately, with Bangkok being the capital city, it is always under the microscope by the powers that be. I doubt anything will change that.
ANGELWITCH GO-GO BAR ADD A FEW NEW SHOWS
Renowned for their professionally choreographed shows, the Angelwitch show team have added a few more to the repertoire. It is estimated that there are as many as 50 different shows that operate in a rotation system. Angelwitch continue to draw a large crowd most nights, but even Angelwitch have a few quiet nights. Regarding the showgirls – Miss Jo Jo is MIA or Missing In Asia again. But, there is good news, because admirers of the lovely Miss Jan will be thrilled to know that she is back in action. Miss Jan has spent several weeks visiting her family in a distant province. There’s never a dull moment at Bangkok Broadway.
YOU’RE NEVER HUNGRY WITH HUNGRY
Ever since Woodstock and the Big Mango Bar moved out of Nana Plaza, there was no good food available. Then, as luck would have it, the owner of Rainbow 1 Go-Go Bar decided to open a restaurant. Hungry Restaurant has replaced the old Farang Connection on the middle level in Nana Plaza. (Just to remind some of you, Hungry sits between Cathouse Bar and Rainbow 3 Go-Go Bar). The new restaurant is very modern and stylish. The prices and standard of the food is similar to Foodland’s Took Lae Dee. Hungry serve both farang and Thai dishes. The bulk of their business comes in the form of ferrying food around to the bargirls.
The reason for writing this piece is not only to let you know that you can eat in Nana Plaza, but you can eat with go-go girls too. It is fun ordering Thai food and then eating together with bikini-clad go-go dancers. Many farangs would pay BIG BUCKS just to be able to do that. How much would that privilege cost in Farangland? It’s a clever way of practising your Thai, discovering Thai cuisine and getting to know the dolly bird that you are chatting with. Of course, you could just take your teerak (sweetheart) out for a lovely meal in a posh restaurant. The point of eating outside the go-go bar is the experience of doing this in the idiosyncratic world of the neon jungle.
Along the balconies outside the go-go bars, you will see all kinds of people smoking, drinking, eating and talking. There’s sometimes more activity outside Rainbow 4 Go-Go Bar and Angelwitch Go-Go Bar than some other bars get inside all night. And that’s the truth!
One thing to point out is that the bargirls will eat fairly early in the evening. When the bar gets busy, the Mamasans will chase the go-go dancers back inside the bar. These rules have to be enforced, because controlling go-go girls is like herding wild cats!
DAVES RAVES — BAR BANTER
A drunk mate said to me the other night, “Hey Dave, what’s this Cum-Niagara?” I replied, “Actually it’s Kamagra, but the end result is what you are saying.”
NOTE THE QUOTE — DRUNK AND DISORDERLY
I get so drunk sometimes that I throw my bargirl away and sleep with my food.
EMAIL — firstname.lastname@example.org
In the meantime, if you can’t be good be careful… Safe sex saves lives!
Thanks for visiting,