ROMANTIC REMINDER — CUPID’S CALLING
Some of you less romantic folks might need a reminder that it is Valentine’s Day tomorrow. This is to jog your memory, because you know what us men are like for remembering special days. Try not to forget a card, or gift for the special person in your life. It is not too late to surprise your teerak (sweetheart) by arranging a romantic dinner for two. Just by making the effort, I am sure that it will be appreciated. We should get away with being a Romantic Romeo and not be accused of getting too soppy by our macho mates. Wherever you spend this year’s Valentine’s Day, I sincerely hope you have a pleasant time. Who will be your Valentine?
Carnival Go-Go Bar located on the top level in Nana Plaza is holding a Bull Riding Competition on Thursday, February 14th. Both Angelwitch Go-Go Bars in Nana Plaza and Walking Street, Soi 15 have been decorated for Valentine’s Day. The Angelwitch Show Team will be performing some special Valentine’s shows this Thursday night.
Valentine’s Day is a lot of fun around the nightspots across Thailand. The bargirls like to give out loads of love heart stickers. I know this practice well, because my reflective dome was completely covered with love hearts last year. If you do not normally hit the town on a Thursday night, you should for Valentine’s Day. It will be a lot of fun!
Hooray! The smoking ban has been enforced across Thailand. I did state that my local sources spoke of strong indications that the smoking ban would be enforced. All entertainment venues and restaurants have been told to comply with the new regulations. The only exception appears to be some open-air bars and perhaps a few places that are ignoring the new regulations. On-the-spot fines of 2,000 Baht can be extracted from offenders. Furthermore, establishments can receive a HEFTY fine of 20,000 baht for not enforcing the smoking ban. There is a clear message to smokers — pack up or pay up! For those people who are desperate for an infusion of smoke and nicotine, they can sit, or stand outside the bars. Meanwhile, I am pleased to announce that inside enclosed establishments, it is a case of butt out!
*For those wishing to stop smoking check out this website on the banner below.*
A SOJOURN TO SOI COWBOY — PART THREE
After a very pleasant visit to Shark Bar, Sanook Shaun, Nath and Dave The Rave decided to go to Baccara Go-Go Bar and see what there was to see. I like the cheerleaders who work outside Baccara. They are fun, friendly, and not aggressive like some door girls. Baccara is usually very busy these days due to its transition into a Jap Trap. We farangs have to understand that Baccara Bar has found its business niche in Soi Cowboy by catering to a Japanese clientele. Understandably, as a bar business they are trying to make as much money as they can. Baccara is by far the most popular go-go bar for Japanese customers in the whole of Soi Cowboy. Downstairs in Baccara, it does get very crowded; therefore, be prepared to weave your way through the crowd. Previously, the sheer amount of cigarette smoke from the Japanese used to be quite a problem for some people. However, with the smoking ban enforced this will make a considerable difference. With the Japanese unable to blow up a storm, this will make it much more comfortable for all concerned.
I don’t know if you have noticed, but Japanese men have this “up skirt” obsession. They can sit there for hours in Baccara with their heads cranked up towards the see-through ceiling. I think to myself, “Why do they do that?” I just amble on up the narrow, winding stairway and watch the go-go dancers up close and personal. Well, that is as up close and personal, as a farang can be in a Jap Trap. One guy said to me, “Why go to Baccara if you know it’s full of Japanese?” To your average “Billy Bunter” or punter, that’s a fair comment. But, this was investigative reporting for my readers. In the West we say, “Seeing is believing.” But, the Chinese say, “Feeling is believing.” I wanted my mind and my senses to “feel” the Baccara experience. Anyway, what I can tell you is that there were still a few surprises…
We were DIRECTED rather than ushered to our seats, as the impatient service girl looked on with a serious expression. Of course, I realised that we are Westerners and not Japanese men, but nonetheless we were still customers. Perhaps Sultry Suzie was having a bad day in the orifice! Whatever her problem was, serving us was clearly a chore. I tried to draw her closer to us, so that the service girl could take our order. She kept her distance, steadfast like a soldier on guard, so I thought, “Blow it, this is too much like hard work.” Sanook Shaun took command and ordered with another service girl. Shame, because she was cute. But, she was so sultry and as cold as a British winter. Mind you, I could have overlooked the fact that she might have been blinded by my reflective dome! However, I decided to conclude that it was because I was caught in a Jap Trap.
The 140 Baht beers arrived and we sat back to view the dance floor. Baccara is nicely furbished following its expansion into a medium sized go-go bar. When they fill both floors that amounts to a large number of customers. Unquestionably, Baccara is doing very well. The dance floor was alive with teenyboppers, but what strikes you immediately is the total lack of any expression upon their faces. They were like little dancing dolls, cute and attractive, but void of any emotion. Has the Asian invasion from the Japanese turned them into aliens? Perhaps I was watching an episode of “Asian Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.” Now that’s a scary thought!
Overall, (in my opinion) the go-go dancers could not match the attractiveness, or the warmth of the dolly birds in Shark Bar. For me, there was no comparison. Remember that this is real-time reporting and a Monday’s go-go line-up will never match a Friday, or Saturday night. Incidentally, did you know that many go-go bars would cut their go-go girls DOUBLE, if they did not work on Fridays, or Saturdays?
We made our way carefully down the narrow, winding staircase and out the door. Directly opposite Baccara is Our Place Go-Go Bar, which is under the same ownership as Midnite, Spice Girls and DÃ©jÃ Vu. Our Place has been completely renovated and like her sister bars, it is a very modern design. But, on this occasion, I did not enter Our Place.
Earlier in the evening, I wondered into Coyote Bar, which was formerly Apache Bar. Unfortunately, I did not recognise any of the go-go dancers from my previous visit. Special K who frequents Coyote told me that it is a high turnover bar. Some of the go-go girls in Coyote are so sexy that customers have recently bought five out. I didn’t hang around because the lovely dolly birds that I met on my last visit were not there. This is one downside to owning a small go-go bar. It is not easy for small bars to hire and keep a large stock of go-go dancers. This is what I refer to as the R Factor. Successful go-go bars need to recruit and retain their girls, as a measure to compete with high turnover. Hopefully, Coyote Bar can replenish its stock, because I do like the fun and friendly nature of the dolly birds in Coyote Bar.
Sanook Shaun and Nath wanted to go to Nana Plaza, so we took the short taxi ride to Soi Nana. And so, my sojourn to Soi Cowboy ended. Overall, I enjoyed the visit and it will not be long before I return to “Little Las Vegas,” or as it is officially known Soi Cowboy.
*The “buy out” is not to be confused with barfine. A buy out or “ser tua ork” (buy body out), means to pay a lump sum for the go-go girl to stop work.*
FULL OF FUN AND FROLICS
One very positive thing about Soi Cowboy is that a number of bars, open their doors earlier than both Nana Plaza and Patpong. Combined with the Happy Hours on offer, it makes Soi Cowboy an appealing choice to commence a night on the town. Long Gun and Raw Hide both had go-go dancers on stage before 7:00pm. Also, many of the smaller bars are open in the afternoon, which is ideal for those who want an early start. From 7:00pm, the go-go girls in Long Gun and Raw Hide dance in mono-bikinis. At 8:00pm, the mono becomes zero! I can’t think of a better choice in Bangkok for an early evening go-go bar hop than Soi Cowboy.
PLAYING THE NUMBERS GAME
The Thai authorities recently told the go-go bars in Bangkok that number badges must be worn by the go-go dancers and the service girls. Apparently, this has been a Thai regulation for many decades. Every employee is supposed to be allocated a work ID number. It reminds me of the old British Armed Forces; NAME — RANK — NUMBER. The go-go dancers now wear a red badge, which is quite appropriate with those RED HOT babes! The service girls wear blue badges. This is also appropriate in some cases, because some of the innocent looking service girls might actually be rather BLUE.
The badges state the bar’s name and the girl’s number. Until just recently Angelwitch Go-Go Bar never used to have any badges on their girls. The reason was to be different to the rest of the go-go bars. With the badges regulation in place, this will allow you to take note of the girls’ numbers. This is terrific news for you avid dolly bird watchers!
Taking photos, or videos inside the go-go bars, has been a subject of disagreement between photographers and go-go bar bosses. Every tourist season, the amount of customers who try to take photos and videos in the go-go bars is increasing. One former go-go bar manager told me that it was (almost) a nightly occurrence in Angelwitch Go-Go Bar down in Pattaya. Although this is a bit of a grey area, common sense should prevail. What would happen if they tried to take photos inside a Western strip club? However, the lack of visible “NO PHOTO” signs is an issue. The customer can simply play innocent and say that they did not know. They might well say, “Where are the ‘NO PHOTO’ signs?” In an attempt to prevent the problem arising, large “NO PHOTO” signs have been put up in Angelwitch Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza. Eventually, there will be both “NO PHOTO” and “NO SMOKING” signs up. Two “NO PHOTO” signs have been placed on the crossbeam directly above the go-go stage. Remarkably, one of the Mamasans in Angelwitch still had to stop a customer from taking a photo last night. For that particular customer, I think he is well overdue for a visit to the opticians!
Today I have two amusing Thai tales about farang men who dared to ascend the stage in a go-go bar. They might think they are the first farang to do this, but there is a long line of these farang fools…
Earlier this week a strange looking chap walked into Angelwitch Go-Go Bar in Nana Plaza. He was accompanied by a few mates and he was wearing a sky blue woollen tracksuit. Apart from the fact that it looked very gay, it was several sizes too small for him. I took a calculated guess that it was a stag night. The way this farang looked, I had pity for the poor bride!
I had just finished introducing the start of Angelwitch Showtime and the showgirls were about to ascend the stage. To my horror, the farang freak in the sky blue, miniature tracksuit walks onto the stage. I turned the music right down and said, “Sorry, but it’s not a gay bar.” Amid laughter from the audience, the farang walks off the stage after being shot down in flames.
One evening in Hollywood Carousel in Nana Plaza a farang walks onto the empty go-go stage. He was dressed like the British comedian Ali G and started prancing around. Just then, one of the Thais turned the shower on. They say that revenge is best served cold… In this case, the revenge was a cold shower!
JOKEBOX JIVE — LIFE’S A FUNNY OLD GAME
These go-go dancers are playing the numbers game. They all have numbers and they are all on the game!
I notice that some of these Hollywood movie stars come to Thailand for some peace and quiet… They soon find the piece and pray that she keeps quiet!
The new images of Soi Cowboy were kindly supplied by Crystal Images. Thanks Sean!
BANGKOK BARRY ATTACKED IN PATTAYA
I recently enjoyed having a few drinks with Bangkok Barry in Nana Plaza. The other night he told me that he was off to Pattaya. I was shocked to hear that Barry was attacked in a go-go bar in Pattaya. Here is Barry’s story on THIS LINK
EMAIL DAVE THE RAVE — [email protected]
DON’T BE A FOOL PROTECT YOUR TOOL
In the meantime, if you cannot be good be careful… Safe sex saves lives!
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