SMOKING BAN IN A STATE OF CONFUSION
With some bars allowing smoking and other bars not, it does make the smoking ban look like a farce. There are establishments where the so-called smoking ban has not been enforced whatsoever. Once again, go-go bars are at the centre of the controversy. In the Lumpini area (lower Sukhumvit Road), the Hotels and restaurants have been told they must enforce the smoking ban, but some bars in Nana Plaza are currently exempt. In stark contrast, further along Sukhumvit Road, the bars in Soi Cowboy have been told to comply to the new law. Down in Pattaya, a number of the go-go bar owners are allowing smoking, but they have been told to be discrete. Word from Thai sources is that the smoking ban will be enforced eventually, but currently there is a grace period. Understand that if you can! Thailand’s Ministry Of Health (rather than the police) will apparently be checking to see who is complying to the smoking ban. After May 31st, 2008 all hotels and public establishments must comply to the smoking ban, or face a 20,000 Baht fine. So far, it looks like the ban has gone up in a cloud of smoke. Meanwhile folks, it’s just another moment in the Land Of Make-Believe.
IS SIERRA TEQUILA REALLY LAO KAO IN DISGUISE?
There is no doubt about it; some local firewater here in Thailand is extremely powerful liquor. On this occasion I do not mean the two familiar brands Mekong and Sang Som. This time we are talking about a different rice whisky. Bargirls tell me that Sierra brand tequila is similar to “Lao Kao,” which is the clear firewater from Northern Thailand. This is why it is so popular among bargirls. I know “Lao Kao” (rice whisky) myself from my sojourns to Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai. It is very potent stuff and has what many foreigners think is quite a foul taste. This nasty moonshine could well be used as drain cleaner! An alternative to Lao Kao is the strange tasting Sierra tequila, which incidentally tastes nothing like real Mexican tequila. But, the Thai bargirls certainly have acquired a taste for it. In Angelwitch Go-Go Bar, very often tequila lady drinks are double the amount sold compared to the other lady drinks. Some of my friends have given me bottles of authentic Mexican tequila and the Thais do not have a clue what it is. In conclusion, don’t be mistaken into thinking that the Thais are into real tequila, they just have a taste for Sierra tequila.
BAR CODE — “SHOW ME THE MONEY!”
I love that scene in the movie “Jerry Maguire” where Tom Cruise says repeatedly, “Show me the money!” Cash is today’s subject for the Go-Go Guru’s Bar Code. Let’s take a look at how we pay our bar bills…
I feel that quite a lot of people both Thais and foreigners, can be very blasÃ© about handling cash inside the bars. No matter how many times we instruct our staff to “show” the bank note to the customers, they usually forget. To prevent problems occurring with the amount of change we receive, I think it is advisable to take the initiative ourselves. This is especially true, when we visit a bar that we do not frequent. I know some of you have been visiting certain bars for years and therefore, you know the service girls personally. OK, that probably qualifies as an exception in this case. But, I think the motto here should be — “if in doubt shout it out!” Hold the bank note up to the service girl and say, “One thousand Baht,” or if you speak Thai, “Nung pan Baht kap.” By making a “show” of handing a 1,000-Baht note over to a Thai, you have covered yourself.
I know we all get distracted sometimes, but I find that many people are so nonchalant about giving and receiving cash. There are some guys who have more money than sense, but I’m certainly not one of them! If every one of us used the “if in doubt shout it out” technique, there would undoubtedly be far less mistakes and blatant rip offs. Some of you more reserved folks may not want to shout it out, but you should at least “show” the bank note to the service girl. After all it’s better to be safe than sorry.
BAR CODE SUMMARY
I would like to point out that “BAR CODE” contains my suggestions. These are devised as guidelines and not hard and fast rules. Therefore, you should always use your own commonsense to evaluate a situation. Keep it real guys!
SPICE IT UP
For the party animals among you, there is one late night venue that is attracting large crowds on a nightly basis. Located in the basement of Ambassador Hotel on Sukhumvit, Soi 11 is the energetic Spice Club. There is an entrance fee of 200 Baht, but that does include one drink of your choice. Regular drinks will cost you 180 Baht each. Because Spice Club is open until 6:00am, you should expect to pay more for your drinks. Service is spot on for such a busy place. The waiters are good workers and will check who needs a drink, while they weave through the crowded disco. A live band play until late, but this pulsating place really gets HOT, when the band stops playing. This is when Thai dolly birds’ dance on the stage and Spice Club really gets rocking from 2:00am until closing time. Spice Club offers the unique opportunity to party with bargirls in an environment that they really like. Most Thais are gifted with a natural sense of rhythm and they love to dance. Dressed in their street clothes, the “off duty” bargirls can be seen in a different light.
NANA PLAZA — NEON JUNGLE NEWS
POOF! Just like magic, they’re gone! When you enter Nana Plaza, you will not see any motorbikes. I am very pleased to announce that the entrance is void of all motorbikes. For once, the Nana Plaza management deserve a pat on the back for taking action. In fact, I saw the Nana Plaza manager the other night and praised him for enforcing the motorbike ban. With some things in Thailand, it takes a bit of time for the message to sink in. Let us all hope that it remains this way. Well done Nana Plaza!
IS HOLLYWOOD CAROUSEL GO-GO BAR IN HOT WATER?
Last Saturday night, the boys in brown visited Hollywood Carousel Go-Go Bar on the top level in Nana Plaza. Unfortunately, it was not Lumpini Division, so at this stage we do not know if they will have a problem or not. The police entered Hollywood Carousel during one of their risquÃ© shows. Hopefully, for Hollywood’s sake it will just be a financial matter and not anything more serious. Currently, Hollywood Carousel continues to do their nightly shows.
MERCURY GO-GO BAR GOES EROTICA
Mercury Go-Go Bar located on the middle level in Nana Plaza has opened its doors again. Following renovations, the old Mercury has been renamed Erotica Pool House. To add to the hundreds upon hundreds of pool bars in Bangkok, we have yet another addition. Upon entering, I was surprised to be greeted by pool tables rather than scantily clad go-go dancers. However, regarding the change of format from a go-go bar to a pool bar, it was never as good as the old Mercury Go-Go Bar was. After the change of ownership, a number of “Plain Jane’s” and katoeys (lady-boys) made it much less desirable. Nana Plaza now has one less go-go bar, but in this case, it is no loss. I must say that the name Erotica Pool House has me somewhat confused. I never knew that the game of pool was erotic, but perhaps I am missing something! This is a very strange choice of name for what is essentially just an ordinary pool bar. But, what if they introduced scantily clad dolly birds? Now that would make playing pool very interesting indeed.
SOI COWBOY — LITTLE LAS VEGAS
Shadow Sports Bar in Soi Cowboy have an incredible Happy Hour. It runs from 12:00 noon until 9:30pm. This must be a top contender for the longest Happy Hour in Bangkok. Also, on the subject of Happy Hours both Suzie Wong Go-Go Bar and Sheba’s Go-Go Bar, run a Happy Hour from opening time until 9:00pm. Domestic beers and spirits are only 60 Baht. Tilac Go-Go Bar and Black & White Go-Go Bar also both run a Happy Hour from opening time up until 9:00pm, where house drinks are only 60 Baht. Here are five examples of Happy Hours in Soi Cowboy that run from opening time up until at least 9:00pm. This is truly excellent value-for-money and all credit to the bar owners for their generosity. At least the Soi Cowboy bar owners make an effort to attract an early crowd. In Soi Cowboy, the bars work much more collectively, whereas in Nana Plaza few bars work together at all. This particular difference between Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza is very significant.
PATTAYA — PLEASURE PLAYGROUND
Currently a HUGE sign is being built, which will be erected above the entrance to Walking Street. Hopefully, the big ‘n’ bold new sign will be up fairly soon.
At the moment bar owners in and around Walking Street have said that business is very inconsistent. One particular go-go bar owner said, “One night it’s packed and the next night it’s quiet.” At the moment bar, trade down in Pattaya seems to be doing an impression of a yo-yo. Pattaya has broken through a new barrier; there are now a total of over 80 go-go bars.
DANCE CONTEST IN COYOTEES GO-GO BAR
Coyotees Go-Go Bar located in Soi Marine Plaza will host a Go-Go Dance Contest this Sunday, February 24th. This time around, it is billed as the biggest ever Dance Contest in Pattaya. No less than nine local go-go bars will be participating. There will be a total of 20,000 Baht in cash and prizes for the battling babes. The Go-Go Dance Contest kicks off at 10:00pm, but it is advisable to arrive before 10:00pm in order to get a good seat. At midnight, lovely dolly birds dressed only in socks will be serving pizza to all of the customers. If you are into Go-Go Dance Contests with tasty girls and tasty pizza, this is one event not to miss. Enjoy!
SUPER SAVER AT LIVING DOLLS 1 GO-GO BAR
Living Dolls 1 Go-Go Bar in Walking Street has a great super saver on late night barfines. After 2:00am, Living Dolls 1 drops their barfine to only 200 Baht. With Pattaya having so many late night options, this is a smart move to try to pick up some late barfines. Keen dolly bird collectors should make a note of this Thai takeaway special.
CHANGING OF THE GUARD ON WALKING STREET
If you were not aware, Pattaya veteran Ken is the owner of both Dollhouse and Living Dolls Showcase. Living Dolls Showcase still perform their special shows on a nightly basis. Paul, who is the former manager of Dollhouse, has now become the owner of Hooties Go-Go Bar. Under Paul’s management, Hooties has built up a good reputation for its selection of Western music. Hooties is the place to hear some Western classics from the 1970’s and 1980’s. The go-go dancers are possibly not too pleased, but the farang customers are very happy.
NEW DRINK PRICES AT SISTERZ GO-GO BAR
Sisterz Go-Go Bar on Walking Street has increased the price of their spirits by 5 baht. Spirits will now cost 105 Baht. But, for the frugal folk among you, don’t panic there is good news! Sisterz are offering 33ml measures of spirits, rather than the standard 25ml. In fact, you are getting more booze for less money. In addition, Sisterz runs a nightly Happy Hour from 8:00pm until 10:00pm, where house beers and spirits are just 45 Baht. I also hear that the shows in Sisterz are becoming very interesting. Check it out!
US DOLLAR AND UK POUND REMAIN SHAKY AGAINST THE THAI BAHT
Both the US Dollar and the UK Pound continue to look shaky against the Thai Baht. Americans and Brits might want to keep an eye on the bank exchange rates. You can check Bangkok Bank’s Exchange Rates on THIS LINK
JOKEBOX JIVE — LIFE’S A FUNNY OLD GAME
After a bout of great sex, Butterfly Bob’s Thai girlfriend lay there stroking his sex tool. Bob asked, “Do you want more sex?” She replied, “No, I’m just admiring your cock, I really miss mine.”
Crystal Images kindly supplied the photos of Soi Cowboy. Thanks Sean!
EMAIL DAVE THE RAVE — [email protected]
DON’T BE A FOOL PROTECT YOUR TOOL
In the meantime, if you cannot be good be careful… Safe sex saves lives!
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