Thailand Tonight – 30/06/2010

SOI COWBOY – LITTLE LAS VEGAS

I have visited Soi Cowboy several times in recent weeks.  Despite the hype from some people, it was not that busy in the majority of go-go bars.  In fact, Marc who is the manager of Dollhouse told me last night, bar trade in Soi Cowboy slowed down a lot these past few weeks.  As I have said before, it is the same everywhere with very few exceptions.  Some people will say, ‘Cowboy is packed’, but they mean the two bars they visited were busy.  Just visiting Tilac and Bacarra is not an overall representation of Soi Cowboy.  I always look at the big picture, I visit as many go-go bars as possible, and at different times.  Many guys are creatures of habit and only visit the same bars time after time.  Hey, they are entitled to go where they want, when they want, but it does not give us an accurate picture.  In addition, a lot of guys are on their own agenda and tend just to pamper their self-indulgence.  Some guys are either on a budget, or they are blatant Cheap Charlies and therefore, only visit during Happy Hour.  Therefore, the reporting is left to me to inform you what is really happening.  It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.  I immerse myself into the neon jungles of Bangkok…

On this occasion, I decided to visit Soi Cowboy from 22:00 until at least 02:30 hours.  I wanted to see what was happening after the somewhat deceptive Happy Hours had ended.  My theory was correct, the Cheap Charlie Clan was nowhere in sight, because they had all gone home.  Whilst the English teachers and other early risers headed home, I was just starting my evening.  Similar to anywhere really, it is a case of ‘know where to go’.  Good times are not difficult to find in Bangkok, but some guys make it seem like hard work.  For the benefit of those who are not so familiar with the finer points of Soi Cowboy, I will endeavour to go into more detail.

I met Cousin John and Sanook Sean in Raw Hide just after 22:00.  Unlike Sanook Sean, our other companion Cousin John does not live in Thailand.  John has been walking around Bangkok with a permanent smile on his face!  John confirmed my thoughts that in Farangland there is not much to smile about, especially for those seeking pleasure providers in the female form.  By pleasure providers, I mean bubbly babes and not old hags who constantly nag you to death.  Now, I am not saying that all farang females are old hags who nag you to death, but a large number are total control freaks.  As Dean Barrett says about America, ‘The women wear the pants in an Oprah approved society.’  There is no such thing as ‘men’s rights’ in Farangland, have you ever stopped to think about that?  All the gorgeous farang females are snapped up, but in Thailand, there are thousands of pleasure providers.  They are simply oozing with ‘A Factor’, which means they are Adorable, Available, and Affordable.  The ‘A Factor’ is something that you cannot easily say about the farang female fraternity!  One thing that is sometimes underestimated about Thai girls, is the fun factor.  You can literally have a ton of fun with Thai girls. 

I walked into Raw Hide, which is the first go-go bar on the right-hand side, as you enter Soi Cowboy from the Asoke side.  Raw Hide is the lesser-known sister of Long Gun and has always tended to live in the shadow of her ‘pee sow’, or big sister.  The drinks are reasonably priced at 130 baht for standard beers and spirits.  It was 22:15 and there were less than 10 customers.  In Raw Hide, I think a lot of people are put off by the go-go dancers.  Some are older with sagging boobs and flabby figures.  But, the hidden gems in Raw Hide are several of the Showgirls.  In particular, Miss B, Miss D, Miss G and Miss S, are very sexy young Showgirls. 

TOP TIP – The secret with Raw Hide is to seek out the Showgirls. 

The design in Raw Hide leaves a lot to be desired, but I’m not that fussy about the appearance of a go-go bar.  Our next stop was Sahara.  It’s fairly new and I suppose because the bar is stylishly furbished, this will please the fussy fashion followers.  But, eye-catching neon and flashy interior designs are completely useless if the bar is devoid of all life!  A good example is the latest addition Sahara, which has some cute coyote dancers, but next to zero customers.  With so few customers in Sahara, the atmosphere is always very sterile.  Furthermore, you cannot bar fine any of the coyote dancers, and a lady drink is a shocking 200 baht.  Is Sahara deliberately modelled on American cock tease strip joints?  I thought this, when I bought a lady drink for a coyote dancer in Midnite Bar several moons ago.  I swear she was there for 20 seconds, then she walked off.  Who in their right mind wants to pay 200 baht for 20 seconds?  Some of the coyote dancers are real babes, but you can’t bar fine them. 

 For the more extravagant eccentrics, you can try to arrange a date outside of the bar.  However, this will still cost you.  A few of my mates date coyote dancers, but they had to put in considerable time, effort and money.  Bangkok based acclaimed author Dean Barrett eventually managed to date his favourite coyote dancer.  Dean commented, ‘I got to date her, but boy did she race me around the circuit.’  Here is a challenge for the guys who always say, ‘I never pay for it’.  If you think the coyote girl is worth chasing, then happy hunting!  Most guys pay the bar fine for a regular go-go girl and accept their claim to shame.

Last night (29/06/2010), I went into Midnite Bar with Sanook Sean.  It is yet another go-go bar owned by the Iranian Group.  Midnite does have shows, but we were told that there are no shows on Tuesdays.  Hence, that’s another reason why there were only six guys, and soon to be only four!  Two beers cost 310 baht and the service girl even managed to bring me the wrong drink.  I said, ‘TIGER LIGHT’ loud ‘n’ clear, and even raised two tiger claws.  She still sent me the wrong beer.  Unbelievable! 

Whether you love or loathe them, Midnite does have a few katoeys, or lady boys.  This is rarity in Soi Cowboy, which prides itself on being a ‘chicks with dicks free zone’.  Previously, I remember watching a big she-he do a show on stage, and I thought, I just paid 155 baht to watch one of the lads do a show!  To Be Continued…              

CELEBRATING AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE DAY IN BANGKOK

The Americans are throwing a party and the 2010 American Independence Day Party is almost here!  This year’s Fourth of July celebration will take place on Saturday, July 3rd  from 12:30 until 20:00 at the Knowledge Inspiration School (KIS) in Huai Kwang, Bangkok.  It is located at Pracha-Utit Road, Kesinee Ville, near the Cambodian Embassy.  There is no parking at the event, but you can use public transport to the FREE shuttle service, which runs all day to and from the Huai Kwang MRT station.  The USA’s Independence Day Celebration is one of the social events of the year in Bangkok for the American expat community.  However, everybody is welcome to enjoy good times, good music, good food and a lively crowd. 

Great Rock-and-Roll, Blues, Dixieland and Pop music from the bands: Soi Dog Blues, Dixieland, Peter Driscoll and the Cruiser, Southern Cross, and a DJ will keep you dancing all day.

American and International style foods will be available from well known Bangkok restaurants like Sunrise Tacos, Roadhouse BBQ, Bourbon Street and Duke’s.   Traditional 4th of July fare will also be available with the American Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW).  They will be grilling up American beef burgers with all the trimmings and the American Women’s Club serving lots of hot dogs.  The 2nd Annual Independence Day Chilli Cook-Off always brings out the best amateur chefs.  If you think your 5-alarm chilli is tops, then sign up for the contest and put it to the test.  Are you still hungry?  Then try the Watermelon Eating Contest.   There are games, raffles and prizes for both kids and adults.  The US Marines will be there to raise Old Glory and help us to salute the Red, White and Blue.  The event is always fun and a great place for friends and family of all nationalities to enjoy a traditional American celebration.  Enjoy!

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Reporting live from the neon jungles of Thailand…

Thanks and see you again soon,

Dave The Rave – Go-Go Guru

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